Monday 1.10 Things forgotten

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran closed the door to his room, the latch shutting with a soft click. He stared at the floor, his conversation with Omi repeating in his head.

It didn't really matter who he was, did it? Ran? Aya? They were just names. He was Weiss. He was Aya-chan's brother.

It wasn't enough, though. It wouldn't be enough to make Aya-chan happy, no more than sitting by her comatose form had been enough.

It was becoming clearer that it didn't seem to be enough for his teammates, either.

As Ran forced himself to breathe out, he finally registered he was staring at a slip of paper on the floor. He unfolded it.

Ran-niisan,

I was going to talk to you earlier, but I was afraid I'd be disturbing you up on the roof.

I just wanted to apologize for today's events. I know you must have been very upset about it, and my questions must not have made it any easier. I respect that there are things in your life that you don't want to tell me right now, but I hope that one day you'll feel comfortable enough to let me know. I want to be part of your life.

Perhaps we could sit down for a long conversation some time? Sometimes it feels as though I don't know you. And I'd like to know you. I want to know you.

Your loving sister,
Aya-Chan

On the...

This had been from yesterday. The nightmare of the supermarket came rushing back to him.

Sometimes it feels like I don't know you.

His fingers tightened on the paper, and to his surprise a drop of moisture landed by his thumb. His shoulders slumped forward, but only for a brief moment. Straightening, he set the paper gently on his dresser, wiping the tear off. It smudged the words "don't want to tell."

He couldn't have that conversation with her right now, though. Not until he'd had a chance to clear his mind.

He would go and talk to her before it got too late, and then he would allow himself some time to walk and think.

Decided, he firmed his shoulders and went to knock on her door.

Comments

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

The knock on the door was a happy distraction from the mass of numbers Aya-Chan had been staring at. Honestly, math was usually such an easy subject for her, but lately she found herself unable to concentrate.

"Yes...?" The cheerful smile on her face when she flung open the door was quickly replaced with a look of worry. Ran looked normal enough, but something was nagging Aya-Chan inside; almost like she knew something was not right. Still, she forced the smile back onto her face. "What's up?"

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran smiled at her in response. It was forced, but that didn't mean that he meant it any less. He was always happy to see her. "Thank you for letting us have a moment," he said. He didn't clarify what they'd talked about. He nodded to the textbook. "Homework?"

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan rolled her eyes towards the textbook and nodded. "Yeah. It's... almost done. I was just going over a few things." She stepped back, giving Ran enough room to enter if he so chose. "I'm not as good at math as I used to be," she kidded.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran actually wrinkled his nose at her. "How is that possible?" He teased back automatically.

That's not who you are anymore. Around Aya-chan, though, he was still Ran. Or, if that wasn't completely accurate, there were parts of him that were still able to be visible.

It was easier for Omi, Ran assumed. He only had his present to deal with. One identity to choose.

He stepped inside his sister's bedroom, standing awkwardly, like always.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

The joke meant that Ran had at least relaxed a little bit; though, his awkward stance was the same as ever. Still, Aya-Chan took what she got. "You know," she said, trying to make idle conversation; somehow, 'so what are you doing here?' didn't sound right. "I didn't actually mean for Yohji-Kun or Ken-Kun to try the moldy cheese. You've got some weird co-workers, Ran-niisan..."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

The firm line of Ran's mouth softened, though not enough to become a smile.

Standing stiffly, he changed the subject. His coworkers were not a topic he wanted to expand on, however much he agreed with his sister's assessment.

"I found your note," he said abruptly, voice a gentle rumble. He reached out and touched her hair, a piece by the side. It was an automatic movement left over from his bedside vigil. Completely unaware of the timing of his question, the late hour and catching her in the process of completing homework, he bypassed all small talk. "Are you...okay here?"

It was almost a pointless question, but maybe he could at least try harder.

Get to know you... It left him with a feeling almost like panic.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

The question came unexpectedly and Aya-Chan almost jumped when she felt Ran's hand against her hair. She'd almost forgotten about the note she left yesterday - what exactly had she written in it, anyways?

Was she okay here...? That was a hard question to answer. Clearing her throat, Aya-Chan tried to answer it to the best of her abilities. "Sometimes... I think I feel a little out of place here. Like, there's this big secret that everyone but me seems to know." She played nervously with the hem of her shirt, unable to meet Ran's gaze. "But I'm okay with that, if it means getting to be near you. Even if, sometimes, it's like you're not Ran-niisan at all."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Internally, Ran flinched, but there was nothing to show for it on his face.

His sister would wake up, and they'd be a family. He would keep her safe, he'd still be Weiss, but he'd be Ran again...

He was too much of a realist to have ever believed that.

He nodded finally. She deserved as much honesty as he could afford. "I thought you might feel that way," he said, "But right now, if you would just be patient and trust me."

He met her eyes, and looked deeply to see if she understood.

"I'm sorry, Aya-chan, that I'm not able to explain more just yet."

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

A part of her wanted to fight back and ask why, but Aya-Chan kept that in check. She nodded, biting down nervously on her lip. There was a short moment of awkward silence, and then, "I trust you."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran clenched his teeth together, unhappy with himself, but gave a short nod.

He looked away. "I'm...glad to have you near me again as well," he addressed her earlier statement. "Aya, I wish that there could be no secrets, but for now it's for the best."

Her room felt like home to him, he realized.

It made him feel foreign.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Why did this man standing before her feel like a complete stranger...? "Can you... promise me one thing?" Aya-Chan waited; stared Ran down until their gazes met. "Promise me you'll tell me everything. Not now, but some day."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran held her gaze until his internal voice fell silent; he would be a fool if he really believed he could protect her forever from what he had become. Some day would come, whether or not he clung on to the idea that they could return to as they were.

"You'll know everything," Ran affirmed. You deserve to. He couldn't look away.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan brightened at his words. "Thank you." For a moment, the atmosphere almost felt relaxed and at home. Then, she turned serious. "You know... I'm not a child anymore. I'm not much younger than Omi-Kun or Ken-Kun." I want to help.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran stopped himself before he refuted her statement. The thought that she could be like them sickened him, and the fact that she was right saddened him for his teammates.

Instead, he smiled, and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I know, Aya."

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

It seemed time to drop the subject. Ran would tell her when he was comfortable; Aya-Chan believed in that. She smiled at him, softly placing her hand over his. "So, tell me something else about you," She gave Ran a searching look. "Anything at all that I've missed that you can tell me. Like, has your favorite food changed? Or, have you even hooked up with one girl?"

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran blinked at her. He wasn't prepared for the feint back to normalcy.

After a moment, he said with a straight face and serious tone, "Sheep's stomach. Haggis is my new favorite food."

Have you even hooked up...

There had been people here and there, but none he wanted to divulge to his little sister. They weren't worth mentioning to begin with. Some simple, and not-so-simple, hookups and goodbyes.

There was Sakura, of course. But she had had a crush on him, there wasn't anything there to tell.

Of course, she wasn't his preferred gender.

Also something that Aya-chan, or his teammates, would never know.

For some reason, the image of a pink button-up shirt was there in his mind and gone again. It was replaced by skintight black pants and a datebook.

There was no way in hell he was going with Yohji to that club.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan mentally noted the evasion of her second question. She wondered momentarily if that was part of everything she wasn't allowed to know. She bit back a sigh. "You know, Ran-niisan. I never thought of you as the type of person who'd ever work in a flower shop, of all places."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

That reaction was why he didn't make jokes more often. Ever.

He smiled a little. The flower shop unexpectedly gave him peace in the midst of everything else.

Perhaps it had to do with cultivating life, making beauty instead of taking something away.

Though even what I do, the path of revenge I've taken, it is like pruning in its way. Removing waste so that other, better lives can prosper.

"It can be like...meditation." Ran said finally, searching for an explanation he could give her. "After..." But he didn't want to bring that up. "It's very calming. I enjoy the work." He smiled a little more. "Where did you think I'd work?"

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan considered his question for a moment. "I suppose I could see you working with flowers," she said finally. "I guess I'm just surprised you haven't quit working here." A small giggle escaped. "The look on your face every time the fangirls come in..."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Fangirls. Ran smiled wryly, looking pained. That was an appropriate term for them.

"They're terrifying," Ran replied seriously.

He glanced at the homework Aya-chan had to do, then gave a short nod to the stack of papers. "Are you doing all right?"

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan followed his glance towards the pile of homework and nodded. "Yes... some of the classes are very hard, but I'm getting by." She smiled back up at him. "And if I have any problems, there are four older and smarter guys here, right?"

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran smiled. "I wouldn't try asking Kudoh unless your problem involves trying to get out of doing your work," he said dryly. "Which I know you wouldn't do," he added, in case he was setting a bad example just by the implication.

The idea of a younger Yohji flirting his way out of assignments came a little too easily to Ran, and along with it an image of the ex-detective's easy, somewhat shit-eating smile.

Ken wasn't too shabby at getting himself out of chores either. Of course, Ran didn't know if it was intentional all the time, or just honest flakiness. He suspected it was more on purpose than not, due to the determination the younger Weiss showed on missions, but when it came down to it the two youngest assassins were both different people in their gear.

But Yohji - it was interesting how honest the man actually was, Ran mused.

"Omi and I can help you whenever you need it, Aya." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you planning to go to bed after this?'

It was getting late, he noticed. He still needed that walk, but he needed to first make sure Aya would remain where she was safe.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't try asking Kudoh unless your problem involves trying to get out of doing your work. Which I know you wouldn't do."

Aya-Chan giggled as an image of a younger Yohji formulated in her mind as well. "Well, if I ever need to catch the attention of a guy, I'll know where to turn."

She nodded at Ran's next comment, sending another apprehensive glance at her papers. "Yes... I have a few more things to fix on the homework, but I was going to go to bed after that."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

[OOC: dude, really sorry about the wait.]

Ran smiled as his sister laughed a little. Hearing her giggle felt like a favorite memory coming to life. "Do you need any help?" He asked.

[7bladed.livejournal.com]

Aya-Chan shook her head. "No, thank you. I'm almost done."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran nodded. "I'm going out for a bit," he said. "I'm bringing my phone. Ken or Omi will be here with you." He didn't have as much faith that the other adult would be around. There was a strange tinge of resentment there, but Ran easily ignored it.

He smiled at her before slipping back out the door.

[Ran leaves for Sunday1.12]