Monday 1.11 - Time Out

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji slunk out of the tension-filled shop and settled down on the steps in front.

This is ridiculous, he thought, while he pulled out a much needed cigarette and lit it up, we're *assassins* for fuck's sake, I shouldn't have to go tip-toeing around everyone's feelings. He wasn't sure whether to feel guilty or just irritated. He had always had a fairly limited reserve of tact, and these days Aya Chan was more or less using it all up. It was a downright miracle he hadn't said anything horrible in front of her yet.

The guilt was there though. If Omi hadn't been aware of Ken's feelings....that would have been a terrible way for him to find out. And Omi had looked genuinely disturbed. He might have just ruined everything for them.

Not going to dwell on it, he finally decided. He'd apologize if needed, but there was no point in feeling bad until it was confirmed that he'd actually caused a problem. Besides, he mused, sometimes I think their expectations of me are too high anyway.

Nothing to do at the moment except enjoy his cigarette and hope some cute girls walked by to distract him.

Comments

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

The familiar smell of cigarettes wafted into the Koneko as soon as Ran opened the door to leave. The site of his teammate lounging outside was expected.

Ran glanced down and considered saying something, but decided it wasn't necessary. Yohji never let them know where he was going. He saw Ran was going out; that should be enough.

Ran didn't pause in his way to the street, long strides causing the hem of his tan trench coat to billow around his legs as he passed Yohji.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Despite a considerable break, Yohji's foray out of the shop had failed to improve his mood. He had ended up sliding into that brooding state he often found himself in without external distractions to keep him occupied. The sound of the shop door opening caused him to instantly brighten. He didn't really care who was coming out so long as they were willing to talk to him.

Upon turning around and observing his newly aquired company, Yohji changed his mind. He did care who was there. Quite a bit, actually.

It looked however, as if Yohji was about to lose his newfound companionship as quickly as he had found it. Not if I can help it. Yohji pulled himself up and smoothly extinguished his cigarette. He caught up to Ran easily and then fell into pace beside him.

"Don't even think about trying to leave me alone with Ken and Omi right now," he said with a wry smile.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran glanced sideways with irritation. Kudoh was in step with him. Lint. was the abstract thought that surfaced. Couldn't the man see he needed to be alone?

Yohji's comment, however, piqued his interest enough to bypass his ire for the moment. "Ken and Omi?" He echoed, tone flat. It was as close to tactful questioning as Ran got.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Surprised to find Ran tolerating his presence, let alone actually acknowledging that he'd spoken, Yohji was momentarily at a loss to respond. Careful, he reminded himself, can't say too much on that topic. You've already run your big mouth too much for one day....

He stalled with a nod. "They both seem...rather tense, don't you think? And I don't think Omi is all that fond of me just now. It's definitely not in my best interest to hang around more than I have to today."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran clenched his jaw. Tense was not the right word for how Omi had just acted. And Kudoh knew something. And was being cagey.

Did it matter? No. It didn't.

"I'm not fond of you just now." Ran stated, but it lacked the venom he'd intended for it. He slowed his brusque walk as he realized Yohji fully intended to go with him.

Yohji thought he was better company than the other Weiss? The man must truly be desperate.

"You think that Omi is tense because of you?" he asked finally with a sidelong glance.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji almost laughed. That hadn't been the response he'd expected, but it was quintessential Ran, through and through. The slowing of Ran's pace took the edge off the sharpness of his words, aside from the fact that Yohji's capacity for offense had been thoroughly broken long ago by years of such banter.

"I don't suppose I blame you," he replied with a shrug.

Ran's second statement was harder to answer. "Ah...yes. He is. And I was being fairly generous when I said 'not fond of.' Honestly I think he'd sooner throw a dart at me than have a conversation at this point."

He watched the pavement for a second before making an attempt to derail Ran's questioning. "So where are we going?" He hoped Ran wouldn't find the need to contradict the we.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose I blame you. That wasn't quite the Yohji the man usually showed them, Ran recognized. That sort of self-deprecation was usually reserved for their missions. Was Yohji genuinely trying not to provoke him?

What the hell had he done?

Ran slowed to a halt. "Yohji. What's going on between Omi and Ken?"

Anyone throwing a dart at Yohji was not outside the realm of his imagination. Though for Omi to be that angry at a teammate was unique.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

What did you do to Omi? Was the question Yohji had been prepared to talk his way out of. Leave it to Ran to go right the underlying problem which Yohji had no intention of disclosing.

He stopped walking but didn't immediately look at Ran. He was afraid that the eye contact would undo his resolve to avoid worsening his current situation regarding their younger teammates. He wasn't the best secret keeper to begin with, and Ran definitely had an edge over his willpower.

"That's a question you'll have to ask Ken or Omi." He hoped his voice made it clear that he had no intention of elaborating.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran snorted. Kudoh not trying to provoke him? That would never happen. "Then don't whine to me about nothing, Kudoh. I have things to do," he added, as if it weren't obvious already.

He started walking again, irritation back in full bloom. He didn't care what mess Yohji had gotten himself into. All the man wanted to do was stall Ran because he had nothing to do for once in his life.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji frowned as he noticed Ran demote him back to a last name basis. But you -asked- was what he wanted to say. Granted, Yohji had pretty much set him up for the question.... Aware that that wouldn't help things he attempted a less whiny response.

"I wasn't trying to," he said calmly, "I was just glad for some company. You didn't say where we were going yet."

If Ran really wanted to get rid of him, he wouldn't deny him the opening.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran frowned, but answered Yohji's question reluctantly. Maybe if he did that much he'd leave him be. "For a walk. I need..." Ran decided Yohji didn't need to know what he needed. "...some fresh air." He finished.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji noticed the hesitation in the middle of Ran's sentence. There it was again, that rare slip of acknowledgment that he needed something, and Yohji was pretty sure it wasn't just fresh air.

What does Ran need?

His brain was happy to supply a spectrum of answers. A new career. To be left alone. To not be left alone. To get laid. A new –life-. Aya Chan….Pretty much anyone but me.

Yohji decided to avoid provoking him with unnecessary words, and simply nodded. He was getting an increasingly annoying urge to put his arm around Ran as they walked, and an image of himself with a broken appendage was quick to appear in his mind. He folded his hands behind his back to prevent the temptation.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

"Yohji." Ran stopped again. "You're not coming with me."

Usually the team left him alone. These days, it seemed like all of them were determined to leave him with as little peace as possible.

He supposed Aya-chan had been an influence in that. Perhaps they saw her as an example of how to treat this "Ran" none of them knew.

What had changed?

He was becoming too dependent on them. Asking Omi to watch Aya-chan tonight - that was a mistake. He needed to rely on no one, or his life was going to slip out of his control. He couldn't need anything from them, or they would begin to need things from him as well.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

There were so many nicer ways that Ran could have said that.

A moment ago Yohji had been prepared to back off if Ran asserted his wish for solitude. But the way he issued a command rather than simply asking him immediately invoked Yohji's antagonistic side. Until now, he'd been doing an increasingly better job at suppressing that particular personality trait lately. Alas.

"Sorry," he drew out his words and emphasized them with what he expected was an especially irritating grin, "Your window of opportunity for getting rid of me already closed."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran grabbed Yohji by the fabric on the shoulders of his shirt and shoved him against the brick building to his left, one arm across his chest. He met Yohji's clear green eyes directly. "I'm going alone!"

His teammate's lanky frame pressed bones into his forearm, along with the muscle he'd built into his shoulders working his garrote. He shoved him again for emphasis then backed off, waiting to make sure the man would leave.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji lifted an eyebrow in surprise at the violent response he'd elicited.

"Easy, tiger" he said, knowing full well that he was doing little to improve Ran's rapid descent into anger.

He straightened and leaned against the brick wall that Ran had recently acquainted him with, making no implication that he intended either to leave or follow.

"You should know by now that throwing me against a wall is hardly the most effective way of extracting yourself from my attention."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran clenched his fists.

Yohji had a refined knack for fraying whatever reserve he was left with. He had no idea why the man was so interested in getting under his skin, constantly.

He needed time. Time to find his balance again. Time alone.

At least when there had been missions, all of them had been occupied. None of them seemed to mind whatever time they could find to themselves to recover. But now they had little occupation...while Ran was still trying to adjust to having one more life to care for.

Yohji's latter sentence, laced with his signature drawl, was a perfect example of the older man's single-minded determination to push him over the edge. Ran had no explanation for it.

"I need some time," Ran snarled, a tinge of desperation lurking in his tone.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji nodded again, aware that he had reached the threshold for how badly he wanted to try Ran's patience. "That's all you needed to say in the first place, you know," he said calmly. He still made no move to actually leave, however.

Ran's words intrigued him. The vagueness of "I need time" left all sorts of potential things unsaid. If I give you time now, will you have time for me later?

"For what?" he asked cautiously. Yohji was aware that he might come off as still attempting to be contrary, but he hoped that Ran might pick up on the underlying genuine concern.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran almost asked why Yohji cared, but he felt like he might end up snapping if the conversation was prolonged. They were talking about nothing, and he didn't feel comfortable as it was leaving Aya-chan alone in the apartments. Yohji wouldn't have an answer anyway, Ran was certain.

Out of all of them, despite his ability to push Ran over the edge of self-control every time, Yohji was the one most able to pry his thoughts from him.

Why?

He gave his teammate a long look. He was almost taken aback to see a bit of hesitance in his face.

It was almost as if he were concerned for him.

The thought was laughable. Out of all of them, Ran did not need anyone's concern. He did not need their help.

Nevertheless, it afforded Yohji an answer. "I need some time to think." Ran turned on his heel and set off again without looking back.