Tuesday1.2: Damaged People

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ken just vomited on his floor.

His door had just flown open. He was in fighting stance. A slew of words tumbled at him, incoherent, as the soccer player stumbled in and fell, only to vomit on his floor.

And Ran didn't move, the book he'd been reading splayed by his feet, the errant pages fluttering down beside it.

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[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Had what he'd said really been that bad? It was a question, not an accusation.

Shit.

The noise coming from upstairs implied that Ken hadn't run off to seek solice in his own room.

Shit shit shit.

Yohji followed, too dazed at the unexpected explosion to move as quickly as he probably ought to.

The sight he caught through Ran's now open door almost made him wish he'd stayed downstairs.

"Well, fuck."

Ran didn't look nearly as angry as Yohji would have expected. The rage was probably just taking time to sink in.

Yohji offered Ran the flask that he'd happily decided to grab before venturing after Ken. "...You might need this more than me."

He crouched down on the floor close to Ken, keeping a reasonable distance from the mess.

"Ken," was Ken even able to hear him? "Snap out of it."

[plotbunnytiff.livejournal.com]

Ken snapped his head up at the sound of Yohji's. An unsightly line of drool hung from the corner of his mouth; he errantly brushed at it with the back of his hand.

"I'm trying to fix it," he rasped. "I swear to God-"

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?

I do.

"I just wanted you to be happy, and I'm sorry for screwing up-"

The whole game was rigged, and he was running the whole thing, can you believe it?

"and getting in the way and letting my jealousy fuck things up-"

You let everyone down Hidaka. Do you have any idea how many careers, no, how many lives you've destroyed?

"but I would never try to sabotage anyone, you-" He ran out of air and drew in a ragged breath. "You believe that right?! I swear..." He reached out and grabbed Yohji by the wrist, his eyes too bright, his volume just a shade too loud.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"KEN."

Yohji stared at the hand encircling his wrist. How did this get so out of hand? He was tired. He hadn't been mad. He should have kept his mouth shut.

Ken needed help.

"Stop apologizing."

I have got to be the absolute worst candidate for helping anyone.

"It was just a question. It didn't mean that I thought you were..."

It kind of implied, didn't it?

"...You shouldn't take everything I say that seriously."

[plotbunnytiff.livejournal.com]

Ken just stared at him as though he didn't comprehend.

"You meant it. That's what counts."

He let go of Yohji's wrist and glanced at the floor.

"Ran's going to kill me when he sees this. I'll clean it up."

But he didn't move. He simply sat, looking at the puddle with a dazed expression.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran moved finally, but it was only to relax out of fighting stance. He watched the interaction with a mixture of confusion, outrage and horror. Somewhere, deep within those emotions, was a kernal of concern. Following his earlier conversation with Ken, however, it failed to emerge.

Then, Ken's words: "Ran's going to kill me." As if he weren't even aware he was there.

"And what did you say to him, Kudoh." Judging by Ken's knowledge, Yohji had been saying a lot.

He wasn't ready to deal with Ken. And Yohji - usually, his mess was self-contained. He had taken painstaking care to shield anyone else from the train-wreck of his life. It was shocking, even to Ran, that he might be bleeding it onto Ken, the former all-star soccer player with a soft spot for children and a near-clean record, despite beserker rages.

Or maybe, the aftermath of their fall into the sea had affected Ken as well...

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"That's Ken's business."

Yohji extracted himself from Ken's grip and stood up. He looked at Ken. He looked at the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair and wearily looked at Ran.

"You can sleep in my room if you want tonight," he offered, not really expecting Ran to find that acceptable, "I'll sleep downstairs. I think we all need to just get some rest and deal with this when everyone's a bit saner."

Like, never a snide voice in his head piped up.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran looked at Yohji in surprise.

His offer was devoid of innuendo, for once. It was also devoid of answers, but if this had just been a simple drunken night...

But it hadn't been. Not with Ken acting the way he was.

...but now, he didn't want to know. He didn't have a responsibility to do this. It was a wonder the other two hadn't woken up, and if Aya-chan saw this...

It both steeled his resolve and added the confusion of guilt. Guilt over what? Ken had made it clear he was solidly disliked. He was sure he and Yohji had been toying with him all week. And without missions, what was the point of this?

The reek was getting near unbearable.

Ken's face was riddled with guilt, and it seemed, confusion of his own. Yohji merely looked weary.

This did not seem like a game.

He wouldn't be abandoning them to this. He wasn't needed here. Each were responsible for their own well-being, it was the only logical method of survival in their trade...

His eyes were stuck on Yohji's face. There was a note of something there, that wasn't usually hidden in the emotion in his eyes.

It didn't matter.

But the man's shoulders were hunched.

It didn't matter.

And Ken, a wreck on his floor...

It didn't matter.

Ran gave a short nod, externally devoid of emotion. He had to leave to meet with Kritiker. If they stayed, he was sure he couldn't keep who he was a secret from Aya-chan any longer. Not when Ken seemed to be incapable of restricting anything he said.

Ran's eyes were still on Yohji's face.

How could anything Ken have said been true?

It didn't matter.

Emotion Ran usually kept in check was coming to the surface. He stumbled slightly when he finally moved forward, a slip from his usual grace, before he strode with his usual strong gait to the door.

His voice had a surprising crack to it, if imperceptible, when he spoke. "You can have your room. Make sure this is clean."

He pushed past them both, out the door.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

He hadn't exploded. That was good, right?

Yohji nodded his head, although only Ran's retreating back was the audience.

He stumbled back into the middle of the room and offered Ken his hand.

Ken looked bad.

Ken looks bad because of you.

You broke him.

"Sometimes I talk faster than I think Ken," Yohji said softly, "just because an idea occurs to me doesn't mean I think it's the truth."

I'm sorry for asking that, would have followed, but the air seemed polluted with too many apologies.

"You should go to bed." At past 5 in the morning, that was the only truth Yohji was really certain of. "We should probably talk again tomorrow, though."

Another glance at the floor elicited a grimace, but didn't stop him from concluding with, "Don't worry about this."

[plotbunnytiff.livejournal.com]

Ken took his hand, pulled himself up, and dragged himself out of the room. He still had a dazed, stunned look about him, but he made it to his room without another word.

He passed out as soon as he hit the bed.