Thursday1.6 - Recovery

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran set the bowl of uneaten oatmeal on the table by the couch and sat down gingerly, folding his hands in his lap. He wished he could draw his legs beneath him and meditate.

He didn't understand why Yohji had gotten to him that much. Yohji was just teasing, Yohji always teased.

It was just that the things Yohji was teasing about now, Ran knew held a note of truth.

Even if they were little things, meaningless things, even if the words held a compliment and even if Ran knew that Yohji had truly not been flirting with his sister.

Ran was used to protecting the people - the person, as it had been for so long - he cared about, even from these people whom he lived with, considered his friends and even family in some small way. He had guarded how he really felt about his life for so long. Even the small glimpses Yohji was offering the others on his behalf, without his permission, felt like a gross invasion of his privacy.

Ran looked down at his hands.

But they were his friends, and they still lived together. It would be impossible to hide something like what Yohji was trying to start from them for long.

Ran let out a small sigh, and closed his eyes.

...perhaps he had been wrong to have taken it the way he did.

...but Yohji had still been trying to make him uncomfortable, and had seemed singlemindedly bent on revealing what had happened. And remembering what had happened made his breathing catch.

Ran sighed quietly again.

Comments

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji slowed his pace as he approached the couch, and regarded Ran cautiously. He'd known from the beginning that a relationship (or even just a pseudo-relationship) with Ran would be challenging. Yohji seemed innately programed to antagonize the man, and Ran could be ridiculously touchy. Even still, he hadn't expected them to start clashing quite this soon.

He sat down next to Ran, and watched him intently. His instinct was to ask 'What's your problem?" but knew that would only dig him deeper into a hole, even if felt that by no means did he belong there in the first place. He kept his mouth shut, certain that if he waited, Ran would enlighten him to his indiscretion, whatever he'd done.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

"My sister is off-limits, Kudoh." Ran said without opening his eyes. His tone clearly said, flirt with her and die.

That wasn't exactly what he'd intended to say. His emotions were too conflicted for him to make sense of, however, and he wasn't sure if he was the one who should be feeling guilty or if Yohji had actually done something wrong. His frustration demanded to be actualized in some manner, however, and hitting on his sister was a clear taboo.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran...Couldn't be serious.

He almost had to physically restrain himself from smacking himself in the head in response.

"That's not a problem," he sighed. "Never has been, never will be a problem. You're hallucinating if you think you saw any interest there."

He was tempted to say something painfully sarcastic, but managed to keep himself in check. Honestly, he ought to win some sort of medal for self control over the past twenty-four hours....

He couldn't help wondering if Ran honestly thought that had qualified as flirting, or if he was just looking for excuses to be mad at him. He often saw only what he wanted to, in regards to his sister.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran opened his eyes and sought Yohji's, genuinely confused. "Then why..."

There was irritation in Yohji's green eyes, and that confused Ran more. He was the one who had been made fun of in the other room, after all, and it had sounded like Yohji was hitting on his sister, making subtle innuendos at Ran and then swinging around to compliment his sister's appearance.

Ran tensed, completely lost. He was positive that somewhere in the conversation in the kitchen a joke had been made at his expense.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

“It’s called changing the subject,” Yohji said in frustration. “You looked uncomfortable, so I tried to distract her. You need to learn the difference between flirting and simply functioning socially.”

Could Ran actually be as confused as he looked? He’d watched Yohji flirt with dozens of people. He knew all of his usual pick up lines. You look nice, was definitely not one of them. It was the sort of thing he had used to say to his mother and school teachers. Was Ran just completely foreign to compliments?

He didn’t seem quite as mad as he’d looked in the kitchen though. Yohji decided to take his chances by moving closer and throwing his arm around Ran’s shoulders.

“You on the other hand, look far more appetizing than that oatmeal over there,” He said leaning in close to Ran’s ear. “That’s flirting. See the difference?”

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran's eyes went a little wide before he schooled his expression back under control. The blonde seemed serious. He had been trying to help him? Analyzing the events seemed to support Yohji. He hadn't taken Ken's reaction as an opportunity, either.

Surprise sprung back onto his face at Yohji's touch. Unbeknownst to Ran, his changing features came off as a little comical.

"Being compared against oatmeal is flirting?" Ran shot back. But he didn't move away. He let out a small sigh, again. "I'm sorry," he muttered, keeping his face averted. He didn't like apologizing, but Yohji's words stuck with him - 'functioning socially'. They stung.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

“Well, not my best work, I’ll admit,” Yohji grinned sheepishly, allowing himself to relax a little with ran’s apology.

Ran didn’t used to apologize to him, regardless to how obviously Yohji might have been right. This was borderline revolutionary.

“That was on the subtle side,” he continued. “I can be more direct. How about, ‘you are the fucking hottest person I’ve ever met, and I want you to do me right now on the couch.’ That better?”

He wished Ran would turn around so he could see the expression on his face.

“You won’t ever catch me saying that to your sister, I can promise you, heh,” he added.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran obliged his unspoken desire, whipping his head around so hard that his eartails swung. Yohji looked positively smug. Ran still couldn't understand how the man radiated sex no matter what he did, even sprawled casually on their old couch.

It should have pissed him off. Now that he had some idea that Yohji might be actually serious, however...

And suddenly, Ran realized that if Yohji knew, and he most certainly did after the previous night, looking now was not going to hurt much. Ran allowed himself to drag his gaze down from Yohji's face to his body, taking in all of it before seeking out the man's green eyes again.

"Everyone's in the other room." Ran pointed out after a long pause. There was a small smirk resting on his own lips when he said it, barely visible.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran’s sweeping gaze and faint smirk were almost enough to have Yohji tossing his coffee cup across the room and pouncing the man. He was lucky that they were both too injured for Yohji to indulge his natural inclinations, because his chances for adhering to further self restraint after a look like that weren’t so hot. Ran probably had no idea just quite how inviting he looked at the moment.

Yohji happily reciprocated in checking the redhead out, responding with a less subtle smirk of his own.

“Not everyone,” he responded facetiously. “And anyway, it would certainly clarify any misunderstandings as to exactly who I’ve been flirting with….”

Not that he expected the others had any real doubts anyway….

He leaned in and caught the edge of Ran’s ear in his mouth.

“Now that we’ve eaten, I think it’s time to go back to bed,” he added after a moment of rapt attention to the side of Ran’s head. “We didn’t get to do nearly enough last night.”

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

The nibble on his ear surprised him, and it surprised him more that he liked it. Up until that point his hands had remained clasped in his lap, but at Yohji's forthrightness he placed a palm on Yohji's leg, sliding it until it rested on his inner thigh.

The novelty of touching to cause that sort of pleasure had Ran's breath quickening. He was trying to come to terms with accepting that he wanted Yohji like that, Yohji, of all people, and the man's continuous offers of more were wearing down his defenses. Quicker than he wanted to admit, and almost quicker than he could cope with. What they had already done he doubted amounted to much in Yohji's book, it could still remain a one-time event...

And he could remain alone, while he suffered watching Yohji sift through all the options under the sun.

He still had a hard time believe in Yohji's sincerity. What made the man want him? Part of him was convinced Yohji was just confusing proximity and teamwork for something deeper...

But you really aren't confused. A snide little voice whispered. Which is why you never wanted to start this.

But Yohji had had part of him already, and gotten Ran to admit he wanted the other man on some level - and he had followed after him this morning, though Ran had given him too many cold shoulders to count. And Yohji's touch - did everyone's feel that good, was it just the feel of another human touching him like that? Ran suspected that wasn't the case, and if that was true...

His brain shut down that train of thought. Yohji was offering sex, and Ran hadn't yet offered anything more. And fuck, but he wanted it.

His fingers applied slight pressure to Yohji's thigh, and inched higher. He turned his face and caught Yohji's mouth with his own. His eyes remained slits, watching Yohji's face carefully before they slid shut. He pressed deeper with his lips.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji hadn’t expected Ran to bend to his invitations. The sudden pressure on his thigh was unexpected, and drew an instantaneous reaction from his body. If Ran wasn’t intending to carry this further, Yohji was going to be too frustrated for any immediate social interactions. He’d definitely be sentenced to some alone time in his room.

This time he allowed his eyes to shut quickly and forcefully met Ran’s tongue with his own. He guided Ran’s hand the rest of the way up his thigh so that he could feel just how hard he had already gotten him.

He tried to ignore the obnoxiously rational part of his mind that warned against letting himself get too lost in this. Ran was sending him incredibly mixed messages, and he didn’t have a clue what the other man was thinking. It was very possible that he was simply setting himself up for a horribly painful final rejection. But dwelling on that potential would accomplish nothing; Yohji knew that he couldn’t ignore his feelings for Ran regardless of how slim his chances might actually be for a happy resolution.

Anyway, it was always better to focus on the present. Ran was kissing him because he wanted to. That fact alone had been enough to make him hard. He let his hand drift to Ran’s stomach and slid it down the thinly sheathed flat plane of his abdomen. His fingers dipped below the edge of Ran’s waistband, but hesitated tentatively. He wasn’t about to make any assumptions.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran allowed his hand to be moved upward, and he closed his fingers over Yohji's growing erection, which wasn't concealed much by the thin fabric of the man's pajamas. The tongue in his mouth felt surprisingly good, and the sensation was felt elsewhere as well. He barely paid attention at first to the hand sliding south on his own body.

Damn, he'd said not on the couch, right? Hadn't he? The others, including his sister, were in the other room, and there was no way in hell...

It took him a moment to follow his own advice, circumventing Yohji's questing fingers by closing a hand over his wrist, all the while dueling with Yohji's lips. He brought his other hand to pass over the tip of Yohji's hardness before quickly drawing away. It startled him how uneven his breathing was, and how tight his jeans had become. Chafingly tight. Yohji's actions told him he was offering, but Ran wasn't the best at reading advances. Too bad for Yohji, if that was the case, because this was what Yohji had asked for before, and he'd made Ran want it.

He was having hard time hearing the voice that had whispered 'bad idea' almost nonstop up until this moment. Some part of him felt it lurking there, but his desires had it caged. He had wanted Yohji, had felt this attraction and denied it for so long, and the small taste he'd just been given made his want almost a physical pain. It had been easier before, when he didn't know what he'd never had. But the feel of Yohji's angular body against his, and experienced touch, and that damned look in his eyes that said Ran was more than what the swordsman thought of himself...that there was something left for them both...

His voice was almost a growl. "I'm going to your room."

And if Yohji didn't show up...Ran might have to follow through on his own.

He gave the blonde a sweeping glance, pausing almost too long for him to remember to carry through. Yohji looked disheveled, the other man's body obviously straining against his control. It was gratifying that he at least had that effect on the other assassin. His eyes met the green pools of Yohji's and skittered away as he made himself get up and stride purposefully out, favoring his leg as little as possible.

He carefully avoided acknowledging his teammates and sister from the doorway to the kitchen and hastily made his way upstairs before anyone could stop him. Yohji's room was unlocked, and there was just the slightest hesitation as his fingers ghosted on the handle. Steeling his resolve, he pushed it open. It smelled like him, and that wasn't a bad thing - soap, shampoo and Yohji's own scent. It wasn't as much of a disaster as Ran had considered it to be in the past, and he wondered briefly if his opinions of the man had changed so much so quickly. The stray alcohol bottle made him frown, he disliked the reminder of how little regard Yohji usually carried for himself. The bed was messy, there were a few articles of clothing strewn about, but it made something in Ran twinge with something like jealousy. It looked lived in. Ran's own room was bare and severe and even in his own opinion, it seemed untouched, and largely, that was the truth.

Cautiously, he sat on the edge of the bed, and became aware that he was violating Yohji's personal space without waiting for permission from the man.

Yohji had asked for this, he reminded himself.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran’s grip drew a low gasp from Yohji and his hips automatically tilted forwards, encouraging the contact. It was probably just the built up intensity of wanting the other man so badly, but fuck if Ran’s fingers didn’t feel better than anyone else who’d ever touched him.

His hand struggled for a second against Ran’s intervention of his exploring. The pressure of long fingers wrapping around him in spite of the obstructing fabric had broken his initial restraint. He continued to kiss Ran fervently in hopes of steering his resolve back to the groping.

He found himself making another involuntary noise, not even sure whether it was from Ran’s final arousing stroke, or the disappointment of broken contact. His disappointment was short lived though, as it only took meeting Ran’s eyes to realize that they were most definitely not finished. The brusque announcement that Ran was going to his room had him nodding in eager agreement. He paused before moving however, absorbing the still novel feel of Ran’s openly wandering gaze. He stretched backwards with a slight smirk, wishing that he wasn’t wrapped up in so many damn bandages. They kind of impeded the effect he was going for.

He forced himself to watch Ran completely exit before pulling himself up and struggling off of the couch. In better circumstances he might have practically run after his teammate, but as things stood it took all his effort just to walk normally. Not that he was about to complain too much, as he was already moving with considerably more ease than he had managed the day previous.

His pace quickened as he passed through the kitchen, aware that his pajamas were probably not doing the best job of concealing the state of his body. Not that he really cared all that much if anyone noticed, but there was no reason to draw attention to himself just now if he could help it.

He stopped outside of his room and tried to let his breathing return to normal, and hide the fact that merely climbing the stairs had winded him. He ran a hand shakily through his hair, wishing for a second that he had a mirror, and then deciding that he didn’t care anyway. Ran had seen enough of him to know what he looked at his worst already. He turned the knob and stepped through, closing the door behind him but not entering further. Ran was perched on his bed, awkwardly—almost properly--apparently waiting for him. He looked pensive, and for the millionth time, Yohji wished he had some way of gaining insight to the other man’s thoughts.

After a few seconds of observation he allowed a grin to break onto his face. He strode across the room and pushed Ran backwards onto the bed, relived that the redhead didn’t offer too much resistance, as he wouldn’t have had the strength to be forceful. He climbed over him, straddling his hips, and locked onto Ran’s eyes, while his hand simultaneously returned to where it had been before Ran had wrenched it away in the living room. He plunged it deeper, finding confirmation that Ran was every bit as turned on as Yohji himself.

“Hey there,” he said breathlessly.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

The corner of Ran's mouth twitched upwards as Yohji burst into the room and he suddenly found himself pinned under Yohji's hips. The other man was effectively trapping his thighs, although it would have been a lie to say it wasn't allowed. He'd seen Yohji coming and calculated his movements, and if he didn't want to be where he was Yohji didn't seem to be in good enough shape to seriously say otherwise.

Yohji abruptly gripped his cock, and that really was the last thing needed to convince Ran to tell his fears, for once, to shut up. His sister and Omi were on their way to school, and Ken was not enough of an idiot to interrupt them. He let the smile grow enough on his face to show Yohji that he was permitted. Ran grabbed the back of Yohji's neck and drew his head down far enough for their mouths to reacquaint themselvelves with one another.

He thrust into Yohji's hand almost subconsciously, the touch too light for his taste. He wanted friction. He wanted Yohji's skilled fingers - he knew they were skilled, not only from the night before, not only because of how he cast his garrote, but because of the way he held flowers, and cigarettes, and countless other observances Ran had stored up without realizing - to work him until his desire burned out.

His other hand gripped Yohji briefly - fuck, the man's erection felt good beneath his palm - and then reached for the hemline of his own shirt, wriggling out of it before dropping his back onto the mattress again, straining upward from his abdomen down. His hand sought out the button and zipper of his jeans.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji sucked on Ran’s lower lip as his thumb dragged along the underside of Ran’s cock. He jerked into Ran’s grip but pulled away as he moved to undress. Ran wasn’t moving fast enough for Yohji’s taste however, and he interrupted the man’s efforts to undo his pants, beginning to rip them off of him, before remembering the gunshot and adding a degree of caution to his action. He paused to enjoy the site of Ran splayed beneath him in his underwear, before making that disappear too. If he’d thought Ran looked appealing last night, it was nothing in comparison to now seeing all of him exposed by the daylight.

He’d always considered Ran pale, but this was the first time he’d witnessed a drastic expanse of Ran’s skin in jarring proximity to his own. His body was deceptively thin, and although toned did not give a real visual cue to betray the man’s dangerous potential strength. He’d never been with anyone who quite looked like Ran, and certainly never anyone who acted like Ran. Yohji’s mind meticulously took in every unique detail and filed them in his memory in case Ran made this a one time experience. His eyes slipped shut for a moment at the sinking sensation of that thought, and Yohji’s will resolved to do everything in his power to make sure that Ran enjoyed this too much to even contemplate such a thing.

He considered stripping himself as well, but decided to wait a moment. He climbed back on top of Ran and ground their hips together, the thin fabric doing little to obstruct feeling Ran in his entirety. His fingers trailed haphazardly across Ran’s chest as he leaned in to kiss him again. The kiss was briefer than before; Yohji’s mouth soon migrated to Ran’s jaw, then his neck and chest as he worked his way down to Ran’s cock, intending to repay the younger man for the much appreciated actions he’d performed the night before. He teased him, running his tongue along the junction of his leg and torso, fingers lightly grazing Ran’s erection but moving too quickly to provide real contact or friction. He briefly swiped his tongue across the head before stopping to take in Ran’s reaction.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran bucked upward with a low, surprised growl, the damned playboy was toying with him. His clothes had been removed before his own fingers could complete the action of unbuttoning his jeans. Yohji had inconveniently kept his own on, and it both frustrated and perplexed him. Did he think Ran was going to let him...

...what was Yohji planning? Whatever was happening, it was going to be mutual, whether Yohji intented it to be or not. He pushed down doubts that he was being used, just so Yohji could gloat later. It was messed up logic, some part of him pointed out, but it seemed like Yohji just wanted to go down on him, which seemed like an opportunity for Yohji to compromise Ran's pride and then never look back. His cock didn't think that was a bad idea, it was getting painfully hard, but that wasn't what Ran had in mind.

You idiot, he told himself a moment later. If anything, Yohji was being self-sacrificing, even if it was for reasons Ran didn't quite comprehend.

Fuck. What had Yohji said? Something about functioning socially? He hoped the other man remembered who he'd asked to be his bedmate.

Ran used his legs to push Yohji forward toward him, and made quick work of the man's pajamas, tugging them off his legs. Yohji's golden skin was beautiful, even if it wasn't flawless. They had been on too many missions for that. The light trail of hair on the man's stomach led to parts Ran hadn't seen too many times to count, and he reached forward automatically to take Yohji's member in his hand. His fingers sought down the shaft to feel his balls, and he bent his neck, pressing his lips into Yohji's fiercely. The previous night aside, it was an affirmation of what he'd long suspected about himself. The other man's body felt good beneath his palm. He removed his hand quickly and replaced it with his body, sliding his erection against Yohji's. His eyes sought out green ones, checking for reaction. His tip pressed against Yohji's toned stomach, and it was agony. The feel of Yohji against him was agony. He needed more.

Either he was going to be inside Yohji, or Yohji was going to be inside him. Ran found he didn't care, but a blowjob wasn't going to cut it.

"I need more than this," Ran hissed. His body was making hard thrusts of its own accord, the teasing, inadequate friction against Yohji's groin driving him mad. His hand reached down again to grip Yohji's hardness and released, hoping to prompt him to immediate action.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran’s reaction wasn’t quite what Yohji had anticipated. He allowed himself to be pulled forward and gave no resistance as the remainder of his clothes was removed. His grin became bemused as he considered the idea that Ran might be more impatient for this than he was. “You and me both baby,” he said, thrusting back against the welcome heat of Ran’s body, “I was just getting started, yanno.”

Ran’s body felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. It was by no means the first time he’d been with another man, but all his memories of such occurrences were badly marred by the alcohol that had been required to adjust his comfort level into acting. What he could remember was mostly awkward and had never felt quite right, usually ending with some sort of resolution to banish his attention back to women. He had never been able to figure out what had kept driving him to blitzing himself into the arms of his drinking buddies and other random men. He wished now he hadn’t. The experience was too fuzzy in his consciousness to offer any real guidance on how to act with Ran, not that he’d want to try mirroring any experiences that had quite frankly been bad in the first place. He felt vaguely guilty that Ran’s first time was going to be with someone as…well, used as him, when he couldn’t even compensate with the confident skill that he knew he had when it came to dealing with a girl. He was operating entirely on instinct now, and could only hope he didn’t fuck things up.

It was quite clear to him though that Ran felt right in all of the ways that the other men had felt wrong. What they had done last night had felt good, but then Yohji was hard pressed to think of how a blow job wouldn’t feel good. That hadn’t been nearly enough to validate the desperate need he’d been harboring for Ran. Deep down he knew there’d been an uncomfortable reservation, his mind not completely ready to accept that his feelings were genuine need and not simply an infatuation that would disintegrate under the harsh reality of physical contact that might clear up once and for all the grey confusion around the true state of his sexual orientation. He’d been distantly afraid that the actualization of his pursuit might result in the death of his desire. Such a reality would have killed any friendship he might have imagined existed between them, killed the team dynamics, not to mention Ran probably would have actually killed him.

He was thinking way too much.

He blindly reached sideways and felt for the familiar shape of his bedside table. His hand easily navigated to the drawer and rummaged for the easily recognizable feel of lube and condoms, which he always kept there. He tried not to dwell on the thought that the use of the condom had been somewhat invalidated by how intimately Ran’s mouth had been on him already. Luckily Kritiker kept pretty close tabs on their health due to the quantity of blood its employees inevitably came into contact with, but even still, Yohji made a mental note to get himself checked out as soon as he could schedule something. He wanted to make sure that everything with Ran was done right, and he wasn’t just paving the way to more mistakes or regrets. Assuming it’s not too late for that already….

He dropped the items next to him on the mattress, and returned his focus to the maddening sensation of Ran’s length sliding against his. He forced his hand between their bodies, wrapping his fingers around them both and stroking hard. His leg wound around Ran’s and he was pressing his chest against the other man much harder than was good for his injury, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“How do you want me?” He offered. It had never even occurred to him that Ran wouldn’t want to be in charge once they got down to business.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran's eyes fell shut and a small breath of air escaped his mouth. The words said in Yohji's deep voice were hotter than he'd ever considered possible. It wasn't something he'd ever thought about, either, but Yohji's voice itself was sexy.

At least not that you've acknowledged. His inner voice was becoming more honest.

His leg was hurt, it would be hard for him to support himself above the other man. "In me." He didn't pause to think about it. His eyes opened to set on Yohji's. He hadn't thought there would be a discussion in this sort of situation, and briefly he wondered how many men Yohji had been with. He couldn't even remember at the moment if Yohji had ever told him.

But Yohji didn't seem reserved, and 'how do you want me' could have had a lot of different responses. The twisting feeling in his gut almost made him change his answer. How many others had Yohji been with? The emotional tug of that thought made him want to claim Yohji as his own, and it was unexpected and fierce enough to alarm him.

The ease with which Yohji procured supplies did little to help the gnawing feeling. Yohji's hand made him thrust harder against him, but it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted something deeper, more filling. He reached sideways and grabbed what he assumed was lube, then the condom, which he ripped open with his teeth since his other hand was wrapped around the back of Yohji's thigh. He brought it back around to slide over Yohji's warm length. He saw his own chest heaving in his peripheral. He brought his mouth up to cover one of Yohji's nipples, then dragged his lips up to the man's neck. His hand pumped him once, then refound the lube and uncapped it. He slicked his hand and pumped again, hoping he'd used enough.

His other hand reached up to latch onto the base of Yohji's neck again, buried in his hair. This was never how he'd expected to see the other man's familiar features - wide, full mouth slightly parted, green eyes darkened and honest, skin flushed, hair disheveled. He imagined this was the other Yohji, the one the man left behind when he was in Weiss. No trace of Balinese was there.

He let out something that almost sounded like a low growl. His teammate was closer to what he'd once wanted for himself than he'd ever have realized without Yohji pushing him toward this. He'd thought his desire for any other person was gone, along with his sense of himself as a normal young man. He braced his arms against the mattress and shifted his hips upward, encouraging.

He wanted Yohji. And though it was part of it, and immediately, it was most of it, it was not just the physical need. The other man had the potential of fitting into a deeper, empty area of Ran's life, and with that suspicion came the itching whisper that he'd been willfully blind, that it was not just that Yohji was another human body with the same physical desires as he.

His fingers dug into the comforter in anticipation. "Yohji..." he warned and encouraged with the same breath. He wanted distraction from his thoughts.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji faltered slightly at Ran’s unexpected response. From the very beginning, he’d simply assumed that Ran would want…

A lot of their problems seemed to be stemming from assumptions, though.

The answer brought an almost unfamiliar undertone of nervousness, though. Ran was putting more trust in him than he would have expected. He realized that he now had the potential of actually hurting Ran. He could in fact make the whole experience downright terrible for him if he wasn’t careful. Fuck, he almost wished he hadn’t asked.

But trying to operate on an injured leg would have guaranteed that Ran’s experience was bad, regardless. In fact Ran’s decision had probably been less voluntary than Yohji’d assumed.

He almost asked ‘Are you sure?’ but stopped himself before the words escaped, aware that Ran wouldn’t appreciate his judgment being questioned. He’d see condescension where Yohji only meant concern.

Anyway, it was hard to argue with the incredibly hot display of Ran preparing him. He closed his eyes as Ran’s mouth trailed over his chest and thrust back into his hand.

“Slow down,” he warned. The advice was partly because Ran wasn’t giving him a chance to properly prepare him back, and partly because Yohji wasn’t sure he’d be able to last long enough to actually do anything if Ran didn’t stop touching him so much. He broke himself away and positioned himself between Ran’s legs, reclaiming the lube and squeezing some onto his fingers. He then bent down and took Ran into his mouth, sucking forcefully while cupping his balls with his free hand. After a few moments of attention, he slowly inserted a slicked finger into Ran.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran was concentrating on other areas of Yohji's body and missed the hesitation on his face.

He looked up with a light glare at Yohji's instructions, he felt like they already were slowed down. Yohji's decision to swallow him cleared his mind of protestations immediately, showing him all too clearly what he meant. If Yohji only did that a couple more times...his body argued with his brain that they didn't have to wait, that that would be enough after all -

Yohji's second action almost had him stopping everything entirely. It didn't feel bad, necessarily, but not pleasant, and not expected. He jerked then forced himself to relax. People did this. There had to be a reason other men were willing to not be on top. Ran bit the inside of his lip with his eyes closed and arched his back slightly to give Yohji better access. Yohji himself, he reminded himself, had offered, and seemed that he would have been content with any answer Ran had given. He worked on schooling his expression to keep the wary grimace off of his face. A hand threaded through Yohji's hair, offering encouragement. It took a moment, but he finally relaxed enough that he was able to concentrate again on the intense reaction Yohji was drawing from his erection. He tried to not feel it too much, to keep his body in check...

Ran drew a shuddering breath.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran was grimacing, although he was doing his best to keep his expression stoic. Yohji watched his face closely, although it was difficult with the rhythmic movements of his head. He slowed his finger and changed the angle, hoping to hit on some sort of combination that would actually feel good instead of causing Ran to wince.

He brought Ran deeper into his throat, trying to offset the discomfort as much as possible, before cautiously slipping a second finger into him. He looked up; making eye contact to let him know that it wasn’t too late for him to stop. He hoped Ran wouldn’t want to stop, it would be fucking torture at this point….but he’d rather deal with that frustration than be the cause for some experience Ran might later come to view as excruciating or traumatic.

His own cock was throbbing with impatience to be touched again. It was taking more self restraint than he had expected to follow his own advice of slowing their pace. Especially with the way Ran was spread out, gripping the sheets and practically offering himself with his tilted hips.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

There was a slight faltering in the rhythm Yohji had set and Ran risked a glance down. Yohji was watching him intently, and the sight of the man's mouth taking him in made him shudder. But Yohji looked concerned. He'd been treating him with kid gloves since entering the room, and it was acutely at odds with what Ran had expected in wake of the dogged stalking on Yohji's part since the beginning of the week. His body was strung on a razor's edge, almost painful, almost near ecstasy, and he knew he didn't want this encounter to end here. He wanted to see it through, needed to have closer contact with the other assassin than just this surface play.

Yohji's fingers did something that made his eyelids flutter shut as he drew in a sharp hiss of air. Whatever the other man had just hit, it was good, and it hinted at a larger good that could be felt if his fingers were replaced with something bigger. His eyes snapped open. The blond was still looking at him with that same cautious expression, even as Yohji's mouth continued to draw him too quickly towards the brink.

"I'm fine, Yohji," Ran sighed. His hips pushed him into Yohji's mouth even as he said it, though he was careful not to thrust too hard or far. It was an actual effort to get them to still. His voice took a harder edge. "More." His breathing was fast in his own ears.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

‘Fine’? Did Yohji actually look worried? Shit, was he ever failing at living up to the expectations he was sure Ran had had formed about him. Honestly, his hesitancy was surprising even himself though. He had spent such a great amount of time fantasizing about getting to be with Ran, but he really hadn’t known how he’d react given the real chance to fulfill it. It had been so fucking long since he’d been with anyone he even really knew, let alone actually cared about…. And Ran was so very different from Asuka. For all his experience, everything about this was somehow new. He hadn’t really been prepared for the newness of it, counting on some sort of innate expertise to magically surface. But it didn’t. And what he remembered about being with Auska was barely relevant, his history with men almost nonsensical, and his ‘expertise’ with the ladies the least helpful of all. In the moment Yohji felt almost intimidated by the burden of a completely useless reputation.

His confidence, he realized, had largely stemmed from not actually giving a damn what the other people thought of him. It was rather easy to act a part when your partners changed too rapidly to remember your mistakes. He was out of practice here, and the transition to giving a damn was painfully sharp with an interest as volatile as Ran.

His train of thought was interrupted though, by Ran’s maddening declaration of more. As he continued to thrust with his fingers he felt Ran pushing back, muscles contracting and seeking out more contact. Apparently he was doing something right, after all. He would have smiled if his mouth hadn’t been filled with Ran’s cock. Not that he minded! He could quite happily continue to go down on Ran for quite a long time, if he wasn’t being taunted by a far more satisfying proposition.

He slowly pulled away, his mouth lingering momentarily at the head as his tongue drew across its slit. He leaned forward and kissed Ran a final time before rocking back and resting the tip of his cock at Ran’s entrance.

“When your leg is better,” he panted, “we’re trying this again. The other way ‘round.” He’d initially intended it to be a question, but the room to debate somehow got lost as he spoke.

He stroked Ran as he pressed himself inside.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran raised one eyebrow at the proposition. The idea seemed to appeal to his body, imagining the feel of Yohji actually around him was almost too much for his stamina. A sudden pressure and filling saved him from the embarrassment of not lasting. Yohji felt a lot bigger than he'd expected, and Ran had thought pretty highly of what he'd seen as it was.

They were definitely going to try it out how the other man suggested. Yohji deserved to feel what he was doing to Ran. The redhead tilted his neck backwards so he could face mostly away from Yohji, hiding his grimace.

Yohji pushed in farther, and suddenly, Ran was thinking the same thought with a much different tone.

Yohji did deserve to feel what he was feeling, if Ran could manage to duplicate it. He let out an involuntary gasp/groan, hands releasing the bed to grasp at Yohji's ass, encouraging him to move, go deeper, do something. He was supporting himself mostly on his good leg, but he used it to raise himself off the bed enough to give Yohji a better angle. His hips shoved back into Yohji with the other man's movement, bucking upward also with the grip Yohji had resumed on him. He felt completely full with Yohji, and the dual sensations were making him almost completely lose awareness of everything but the feel of the other man.

Ran's eyes had been clenched shut, but he forced them open again to watch Yohji.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji had been moving slowly, painfully slowly, as he monitored every flinch and movement of Ran’s face.

…Which lasted for all of about 6 (very slow) seconds, before any hope for coherent thought was smashed to pieces by the primal reaction of Ran grabbing his ass and forcefully speeding his thrust up with movement of his own.

The unexpected rush of heat and pressure paired with the fucking Amazing sound of Ran losing control was nearly enough to make Yohji lose it completely right then and there. He scrunched his eyes shut, trying to help him refocus his control by blocking out the stimulus of his view of Ran’s shuddering naked body. After a moment he opened them again, and caught Ran’s intense stare.

Well, fuck.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had sex with someone and seen a trace of any emotion other than lust displayed. The look in Ran’s eyes cut straight through him, causing an odd tightening in his throat. He froze for a second, but managed to pull himself together again as he felt Ran’s fingers dig into his skin, urging him forward. He thrust hard, meeting Ran’s adjustments with more ease, sliding in deeper this time.

“Fuck Ran,” he gasped between thrusts. He grasped for something meaningful to say but his mind seemed completely blanked out from processing the physical sensations. He remembered that dropping meaningful declarations in the heat of sex was traditionally a bad idea anyway, and gave up. “Just…fuck,” he settled on repeating.