Thursday 1.20 - Reconvene

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji continued his deliberately slow pace until he heard the start-up of Schwarz’s car. He listened closely, and as soon as he was certain that they were out of range he broke into a run.

Schwarz was at the Koneko while you were wasting time picking out movies. Idiot. Anything could have happened.

…You might have been back in time if you hadn’t chased after Prodigy.

Now that he had his attention all to himself, his mind wasted no time inventing horrendous scenes of what might have transpired in his absence. Schuldig had given his imagination plenty to work with from the kidnapping incident.

He was having trouble breathing. He was barely in any condition to walk; it was a wonder that he even managed to move still…

Somehow, in spite of it all, plastic DVD boxes still remained grasped in his hand. He all but threw them onto the stoop as he struggled to get the door open. Once through, he looked around frantically.

Everything seemed peaceful enough….

“--Hello?” he called out tentatively.

Comments

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran wasn't entirely happy about the change of position - he'd meant their encounter to be quick, efficient, a release of emotion and desire and frustration and whatever this other thing he was feeling was, the need to touch the other man in order to purge his anger at Yohji being kept hostage. It didn't make sense to him.

He barely allowed himself to be flipped, still struggling with the desire for dominance in this particular situation, but Yohji had his clothes off before he'd reached a decision and the touch of lips and hot warmth silenced the protests that weren't yet spoken. He almost didn't keep himself from bucking upwards too hard into Yohji's mouth, because it was at once exactly what he needed and not enough.

He let out a surprised gasp and sought a handhold on the floor, finally making do with burying his fingers into Yohji's hair, feeling the man bob over him. He wanted despite the white heat to make Yohji stop, so he could make Yohji feel him as well, but there was no purchase and no sense in hurting his leg further to do so. His hips thrust, still controlled so as not to hurt the blond, but it was becoming harder to hold back. His chest heaved with shallow breaths.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji's movements started out a bit rushed, as he was afraid that if he let himself think too hard about what he was doing, he might get tripped up in the knowledge that he had no real experience to back up his actions this time. The awkwardness was short lived though, because Ran's reactions where more than a little bit encouraging. His usual confidence quickly returned with each breathy noise Ran attempted to stifle, and Yohji slowed his pace, paying attention to what drew the stongest reactions from the man splayed in front of him. It wasn't surprising that his awareness of what he knew felt good to his own body seemed very agreeable to Ran's as well. It didn't take long for him to have Ran jerking uncontrollably.

The feel of Ran needily digging his fingers into his hair was possibly one of the biggest turn-ons Yohji had experienced to date. He let his hand wander as his head bobbed, his body wanting to make full contact with the redhead, and his fingers making do with as much as they could touch.

His pace sped up again as Ran's thrusts increased in frequency, and he focused on taking Ran in a little deeper as he went. His own breathing began to grow erratic as he became caught up in Ran's abandon. It was all that he could do to remain completely focused on Ran and not touch himself as well.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran was biting the inside of his lip hard, all too aware that they were in the shop and Ken was still in the house, but his body wasn't doing anything he wanted to tell it to. Like, pick himself the fuck up and get off the floor and get Yohji's mouth off of his -

A noise escaped from his lips anyway, throaty and breathless. Yohji took him in farther; Ran tightened his fingers into Yohji's hair and attempted to pull his head up.

He wanted to touch Yohji too.

His hips thrust automatically into the heat of Yohji's mouth. He pulled up again on Yohji's head. "Yohji. Stop -"

He could barely get the words out. Ran wanted to simply come right then, even as he struggled to hold on through the haze.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji responded to Ran's insincere command by going down with renewed intensity. The grasp on his head turned into more of a pull but he ignored it, continuing to alternate between running his tongue around the hard shaft in his mouth and sucking on it, his hands still roaming haphazardly across Ran's thighs and abdomen. A dull throb in his chest was protesting at all of his sporadic movement but he found it easy to ignore in favor of encouraging Ran to keep making those noises.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Yohji chose not to listen to him so Ran stopped attempting to do him any favors, at least for the moment. His head hit the floor as he relaxed and gave in, letting himself simply feel.

He shove himself forward into Yohji's mouth, still being as careful as he could, but his thrusts were picking up intensity. His eyes closed and his free hand scraped against the floor as it sought something to latch onto, something to ground himself to, but there was no purchase.

His breathing was shallow and fast and hitched with every movement Yohji made. "Yohji-"

The name slipped out. He hadn't meant to say it.

It was too late. The heat spread in a quick burn from where Yohji was swallowing him to his brain, overwhelming him with sensation. He slapped a hand up into his mouth, biting down to muffle the deep shout as he came, shuddering, his back arching even as he bucked until it suddenly became too much.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

The drop of his name threw a wrench in Yohji's concentration and he almost froze mid-action. He wanted to stare at Ran and get a better view of the man's face. He almost wanted to stop and ask Ran if he'd really meant it, to double check that he hadn't had some...reason for calling out, something coincidentally unrelated to the act they were currently engaged in.

Wow, he was really getting cynical these days.

He shoved disbelief aside in favor of relishing the fact that he'd just fulfilled a fairly major fantasy of his, and continued to swallow Ran to the best he could still manage. He didn't have much longer to wait until Ran was spasming and an acrid liquid was filling his mouth. He very nearly gagged and was instantly appalled that he didn't seem to come equipped with a natural finesse for handling the situation. He managed to reign in his traitorous reflexes however, and simply vowed that he'd need to engage in a substantial amount of practice. He didn't think Ran would mind that so much.

He wiped his face on his sleeve and leaned forward, hovering over Ran with the desire to kiss him, but not assuming Ran would be okay with that considering where his mouth had just been. In spite of his lingering uncertainties, Yohji's face bore a ridiculously smug grin.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran struggled to get his breathing to become normal again before he opened his eyes and faced Yohji, who was hovering inches from his face with a completely self-satisfied expression. It threw Ran completely off, at least in how he was assessing the situation, because he could feel Yohji still hard and pressing against him.

The man hadn't gotten anything from this, and yet he looked like he'd gotten everything.

Ran shot his hand up to grab what he felt pushing into him, eyes on Yohji's face. He pushed his waist up so that his skin met Yohji's tip as he circled Yohji with his fist and began to pump.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji pushed back, the long anticipated friction drawing a ragged gasp from him. His hips met Ran's movements with urgent thrusts.

Ran's eyes were boring into him.

He had a rare moment of feeling self-conscious, but it was fleeting and quickly melted into a general lack of mental coherency. Anyway, he liked Ran watching him, even if the attention it was unnervingly more intense than he was used to receiving from a partner.

His skin slid against Ran's, dragging across textured fingers before colliding with Ran's abdomen. It had been unnecessary for Ran to press against him like that. His hand would have gotten the job done. This was... almost... Well, it was a lot more intimate than Yohji would have expected from a rushed liaison in the back of the shop.

Much as he would have like to, Yohji made no attempt to draw it out. Going down on Ran had already gotten him painfully hard. With the threat of getting interrupted looming ever present, he simply let the sensation of Ran's touch wash over him, and it only took a few strokes and thrusts to bring him over the edge.

He didn't immediately move though, remaining suspended over Ran. His previously smug grin now mellowed into a look of pure contentment. Somewhere distantly in the back of his mind a voice was obnoxiously urging him to get them cleaned up and decent, but for a moment at least he ignored it.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran watched Yohji's expression change, watched him yearn and watched him in his abandonment, fascinated in a way he hadn't had the coherency for the previous night.

He caught himself just as Yohji directed at him the happiest look he'd seen on the man's face. He knew he should look away and push Yohji off of him, but for a moment, he was too caught up in amazement.

Could Yohji look like that at everyone he slept with? Ran wondered if he looked anything like it.

Just sex. Could Yohji really get that much contentment out of just sex?

...it would explain a lot.

Despite the sour thoughts, he didn't believe any of them. They were easier to think, however, than to acknowledge his own suspicions.

He noticed with a jolt that he had been staring back at Yohji for several seconds, and they were both in a very, very public location. He slid carefully out from under Yohji, slower than he wanted to because he didn't want to alarm the other man. He quickly hitched up his pants and since there was nothing to clean up with, attempted to be okay with concealing their release on his skin with his shirt. He moved to sit so his back was against the wall, gathering himself. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to get his breathing at least under control, before opening them to watch Yohji again.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji reluctantly followed Ran's lead and replaced his clothing, then awkwardly sat down next to his silent companion. He was somewhat surprised when Ran lingered, he'd been expecting him to immediately excuse himself, to rush off and change his clothes and erase all physical evidence of their encounter.

He pulled a cigarette out and lit it up, taking a drag before leaning back to rest his head against the wall. He was aware of Ran's eyes still on him and the cigarette was a good distraction to keep from staring back.

"Always wanted to do that," he said with a vague smile, not specifying if he meant what he'd just done with Ran, or the fact that they'd done it in the shop.

Ran's face was worryingly unreadable.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran clasped his hands in front of him, arms straight out with his elbows propped on his knees. He stared at them, considering the memory of feeling in his palm.

"Give a blowjob?" Ran raised an eyebrow, but didn't turn his head to look at Yohji. "I thought you would have done that already."

He didn't seem to be able to not come across as antagonistic.

He was self-aware enough to know that it was a distancing technique, a self-defense mechanism. He kept his eyes on his own hands.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji frowned. Not at the antagonizing nature of Ran's reply, but at the fact that he was uncomfortably reminded that he couldn't confidently dispute it. There were too many gaping holes in his memory; he favored alcohol specifically for the way it let him lose time. He had no conscious awareness of ever getting farther with another man than perhaps a drunken make-out session...but what he might have engaged in on any of a number of benders was anyone's guess.

Not knowing was almost worse than actually being as much of a whore as Ran assumed.

He shrugged non-commitedly. "Can't say I found much appeal in the concept until recently." He took another drag on his cigarette and fixed his eyesight on an empty bucket that had been filled with irises the day before. "But I meant I always wanted to screw you in the shop. It's what I usually think about when I'm supposed to be working, yanno."

That was too much information, and he was sure Ran would find some way to misconstrue his answer.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

It wasn't hard to see that Yohji was struggling to remember something before he finally replied.

Ran gave him an expression that could both be called a smile and a grimace when he did.

He wasn't sure what the other man had been thinking, but he was surprised at his answer and relieved for once that Yohji had not responded to his baiting. It was coarse and implied all sorts of things about his working habits, but he couldn't say that he himself had never considered it, because he might have, once at the least.

He was looking content a moment ago. You ruined that, his mind supplied.

It was like a freefall, noticing how much of an effect he actually had on Yohji. Yohji, who he thought in general barely tolerated living with him...

...or possibly just living.

Like him.

He unclasped his hands and took one of Yohji's in his own. He squeezed, once, then brought it back to reclasp with his other hand quickly.

Nevertheless, his mouth never ceased to fail him. "When you're working, you're usually flirting with underage girls."

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran's words and actions seemed incongruous with each other, one seeming to offer reassurance, the other kicking him back on the defensive. He blinked, somewhat startled by both, and finally allowed himself to look at Ran dead-on. The other man's face had a twisted, pained expression. Had he done that?

Although brief, the contact of Ran's hand had carried surprising weight. It might easily qualify as one of the most affectionate gestures Ran had made to him to date. He immediately wanted to snatch it back but refrained, knowing that to do so would spoil it.

Instead he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Well, I've always firmly asserted my preference for not working, haven't I?" He shrugged again. "And anyway, flattered people are more likely to buy shit, it's a proven business tactic." Not that that had ever had anything to do with his behavior. He'd be the first to admit if challenged that he didn't actually give a damn about the business. Flirting was just a social game that helped relieve the tedium from a less-than-stimulating occupation. Surely even Ran could see the difference between when he was actually serious and not...?

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran nodded, though it wasn't at anything Yohji said. He let him slide through the non-answer without comment however, examining Yohji's face. He was scrutinizing Ran with one of those expressions Yohji rarely let anyone see, pure clarity in those green eyes of his.

Or maybe, people just chose not to see it.

Maybe Ran chose not to see it. It was too easy to undervalue the other man, and it wasn't as if Yohji tried terribly to dissuade anyone of the image he projected.

He'd nodded because Yohji had finally cracked Ran's assumptions. He was being an ass despite himself, and Yohji took it.

Yohji never took it. He barely let Ran get away with just existing without trying to get to him.

So it meant something.

And yet, he still wasn't willing to label it.

"It doesn't matter," he said finally. "Who you flirt with isn't my business."

Because he'd be proven a hypocrite if he claimed any sort of ownership on Yohji.

Nevertheless, he said it to his knees, instead of looking at Yohji's face.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji watched Ran's body language with interest. His shoulders had been developing a progressively more pronounced hunch as they'd talked. The lack of eye contact was unusual too, Ran rarely hesitated to tell people things straight. The meaning behind that seemed pretty clear.

"If it didn't actually matter you wouldn't have bothered to bring it up," Yohji pointed out calmly. "You're not nearly talkative enough for me to buy that. I've never heard you discuss anything you didn't care about." I've hardly ever heard you discuss anything -at all-....

He wanted to slide his arm around Ran's shoulders but was foiled by the presence of the wall. So he poked him in the shoulder, aware that it was obnoxious but needing to allieviate the oppressive seriousness that seemed to have infiltrated the room.

He was aware of how the flirting looked. It was a deeply ingrained habit, one that had even been present while Asuka was in the picture. She'd mostly let him get away with it, knowing him well enough to not be threatened. He suspected Ran knew him well enough too. But...

He could tone it down. But he wanted Ran to ask him to.

"It could be your business," he stated simply. There was a lot more he wanted to say there but cut himself off. He'd already gone far enough making himself look desperate and needy to Ran.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran listened with immobile features as Yohji lay him out verbally.

What he said wasn't untrue.

How can he be the one to know you this well?

...you let him.

He ignored the poke to his shoulder.

The emotions from the previous night were still an undercurrent to his consciousness. No time at all had passed, really, between his guilt/worry/anger/regret that Yohji had been taken by Schwarz and where they were now.

And even though it had been months, that was only an echo of what he realized he'd also been feeling at the time of the fall of Eszett. After his sister had woken, he'd realized she wasn't his only focus at the time, though he had not had the ability to think on anyone but her.

Yohji was forcing him to analyze those emotions. He'd underestimated Yohji's determination at getting to him, but with his understanding of Yohji's character and tenacity about holding on to his past, he shouldn't have been surprised.

What Yohji was forcing him to confront was his fear at losing his teammates, his fear specifically at the prospect of not having the man beside him in his life. What that meant that he felt that way.

And the reasons behind many other emotions Ran felt daily about Yohji.

'It could be your business,' Yohji said.

Ran met his eyes.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

For a while Yohji just silently held Ran's gaze, trying to decipher some sort of meaning out of the man's expression. All he could tell was that Ran was struggling with something, which could be either for or against his favor. Yohji decided to be optimistic and concluded that it was progress.

"I can be surprisingly adaptable when properly motivated," he added vaguely.

He leaned forward, bringing their faces closer.

"Ball's in your court. But you knew that."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran drew in a deep breath and released the air slowly.

He could keep running. He could keep pushing back as much as Yohji pushed forward. He could keep giving in like he had a moment ago and pretending it meant nothing to him.

He could push Yohji over the edge. Because that's what it would most likely do to the man, if he was even half sincere about anything. He would have led him on, only to set him up for greater pain.

Ran couldn't pretend otherwise. It was obvious in Yohji's expression, however alarming and unlikely that was. He cared about Ran's response. This wasn't just some game to him, Yohji had managed to convince him of that.

And what will it do to you to cut yourself off from this?

It might be better for Weiss if he did.

But there was a chance that it would make them stronger.

"If I said that I wanted you to be my business, I would mean it." Ran finally said. He watched Yohji's face carefully. If he opened himself up to caring for the other man that intensely, he would not be able to go back. He needed to make sure Yohji had some understanding of that.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"Well." A faint smile was breaking into the corner of Yohji's mouth, in spite of his attempts to not get ahead of himself. Ran was being excruciatingly careful with his wording. Although his feelings were becoming increasingly illuminated it was quite clear that he still felt inclined to deny them.

He wanted to say, I would love to be your business. Which seemed strange because he was pretty sure that 'being Ran's business' would probably come equipped with lots of headaches. Not that 'not being Ran's business' was a stress-free affair, either. It had been so long since he had felt any sort of inclination to attach himself to someone, but he could not ignore the surge of possessiveness that Ran elicited in him. He wanted Ran to be indisputably his. The concessions he knew he'd have to make in exchange seemed inconsequential in comparison to that trade-off.

If only he could get Ran to officially capitulate.

"We'd be on the same page then," he said cautiously.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

A small smile ghosted on Ran's mouth. He was still searching Yohji's eyes. The other man looked guarded, but Ran was aware he'd given him plenty of reason to be.

It greatly surprised him that his almost-concession and Yohji's carefulness brought a feeling of warmth, more than anything else.

He felt some of the surprise leak into his expression.

It didn't completely cloak the terror he felt at opening himself up to the other man. Yohji was demanding even as just a teammate...friend. He rarely let Ran hide within himself as it was.

Are you that far gone? Ran asked himself. Are you really that afraid of confronting yourself?

Indisputably, yes.

When Ran spoke, his voice was low. "What would that mean to you?"