Sunday 1.15: Solitude redux

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran, back in his room, slammed his fist down on his dresser. The picture he had, in a simple wood frame, wobbled and fell to the carpet. The quiet response to his actions just served to mimic his frustration, burning anger unable to manifest.

How dare they touch his sister again. How dare they bother them. How dare they speak to her and suggest things she was better off never knowing.

How dare Yohji, for acting like this involved him. For pretending he cared, for acting like his interest was deserved.

The thought came and went - How dare Aya, Ran, whoever he was...how dare he forget that it was not he alone who had saved her... - and made Ran's fingers curl under to press deep into the palms of his hands.

He wanted to flee this life. He wanted to start things over, he wanted the life he could have had, she could have had back.

Everything was a farce. It even felt ridiculous to eat these days, normal things like pancakes, or to drink tea. It felt ridiculous to sleep.

He didn't understand how Yohji could do it, to mingle with the rest of them like he belonged, like he wasn't something else. Like he wasn't like Ran.

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

He wanted to grab his mission gear and go back to the store, but he knew the other team would be long gone and if they weren't, the precog would have seen him coming.

Why would Kritiker not eliminate them?!

Perhaps because they couldn't.

Ran slammed his hand down on his dresser one more time, then left his room to go to the roof. He needed to meditate, and breath in outside air, even if it was never fresh.