Monday 1.5 Afterparty
Jun. 8th, 2007 03:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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theblackcrossIt had been easy enough for Ran to spend the day ignoring his teammates in the shop, the flow of customers constant and pushy enough to make his silence toward them natural.
He wasn't upset with any of them for the day before. If anything, he was mad at himself for the way he had handled it. He shouldn't have had to rely on them. It shouldn't have mattered what they had done - he should have been able to have dealt with the Kritiker agent on his own.
He couldn't change it. He could only be sure he'd be prepared for the next time.
He had missed Aya-chan in the morning. He knew Omi walked her to school, and he trusted his younger teammate with that, but he rarely missed seeing her off without telling her first. He hoped she would not feel neglected because of it.
Maybe she was relieved.
It was because of Kudoh. And that brought him to what kept circling in his ears since that morning. You only care if we are able to function on missions. Or whatever the man had said.
He couldn't get Yohji's words out of his head.
What did it matter? What did it matter to any of them? They hadn't chosen to work with each other. Or maybe they had, but he hadn't. He had just made a stupid mistake and had ended up on Yohji's bed...
The last of the customers trailed out and Ran slammed the door shut, flipping the sign to close.
It was as if it were Yohji's fate to be the bane of his existence.
He had ended up on Yohji's bed, and there Yohji was, mocking him with it that morning. Sprawled like a cat, rumpled shirt pushed up to show too much skin like his bed was a place he belonged...situation reversed.
Ran left the shop without looking at his teammates.
How dare he. He did care what happened to his teammates outisde of missions. He would be inhuman if he didn't. He lived with them, worked with them, killed with them. In some ways it was a more intimate situation than any relationship a normal person could have.
Was that what Yohji really saw him as, then? Inhuman?
Perhaps in many ways, Aya had been.
Ran, of course, was not any different. He had hoped once that returning his sister's name to her would also return who he had been, like a mask falling away.
It was a naive thought.
But Yohji was wrong. Perhaps he was concerned foremost with his teammate's abilities to do their jobs, but that was also what he needed to do as their friend. When they couldn't do their jobs was when it would be apparent that this life had destroyed them.
He needed to get out of the Koneko and away from this borrowed life, if only for a little while.
He went to his sister's room and knocked.
He wasn't upset with any of them for the day before. If anything, he was mad at himself for the way he had handled it. He shouldn't have had to rely on them. It shouldn't have mattered what they had done - he should have been able to have dealt with the Kritiker agent on his own.
He couldn't change it. He could only be sure he'd be prepared for the next time.
He had missed Aya-chan in the morning. He knew Omi walked her to school, and he trusted his younger teammate with that, but he rarely missed seeing her off without telling her first. He hoped she would not feel neglected because of it.
Maybe she was relieved.
It was because of Kudoh. And that brought him to what kept circling in his ears since that morning. You only care if we are able to function on missions. Or whatever the man had said.
He couldn't get Yohji's words out of his head.
What did it matter? What did it matter to any of them? They hadn't chosen to work with each other. Or maybe they had, but he hadn't. He had just made a stupid mistake and had ended up on Yohji's bed...
The last of the customers trailed out and Ran slammed the door shut, flipping the sign to close.
It was as if it were Yohji's fate to be the bane of his existence.
He had ended up on Yohji's bed, and there Yohji was, mocking him with it that morning. Sprawled like a cat, rumpled shirt pushed up to show too much skin like his bed was a place he belonged...situation reversed.
Ran left the shop without looking at his teammates.
How dare he. He did care what happened to his teammates outisde of missions. He would be inhuman if he didn't. He lived with them, worked with them, killed with them. In some ways it was a more intimate situation than any relationship a normal person could have.
Was that what Yohji really saw him as, then? Inhuman?
Perhaps in many ways, Aya had been.
Ran, of course, was not any different. He had hoped once that returning his sister's name to her would also return who he had been, like a mask falling away.
It was a naive thought.
But Yohji was wrong. Perhaps he was concerned foremost with his teammate's abilities to do their jobs, but that was also what he needed to do as their friend. When they couldn't do their jobs was when it would be apparent that this life had destroyed them.
He needed to get out of the Koneko and away from this borrowed life, if only for a little while.
He went to his sister's room and knocked.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 06:18 pm (UTC)He was immediately overcome with the sense of home. Nostalgia. A feeling that this room was somehow part of his past.
It felt like Aya-chan's room always had to him. And having it here, inside the Koneko, a haven inside the confusion of his new life...
But it wasn't so new anymore, he realized. The thought sharpened a pain inside his chest.
This was his life. And he was going to have to find a way to mesh that life with the girl standing in front of him.
Would they ever be like they were?>/i>
"Or," his voice was gruff with hesitancy, "I could come back, if this is a bad time."
If you don't want to be faced with who I am.
He shook away the thought.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 10:43 pm (UTC)[Oh, xD and I just remembered she left a letter for Ran a looong time ago.]
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 02:39 pm (UTC)Ran looked at his sister speculatively, then gave a slight nod, eyes half-closed. "Hn," he agreed. He perched on her bed, failing to look relaxed though he tried.
Not that he knew what to say to her.
He never really did, though, he mused. When he was younger he'd been content to trail her around, a self-proclaimed body guard. They'd had their sibling moments of course, where one teased the other or pestered for attention, but those days of course were long gone.
He wasn't sure how to have a teenage sister. He didn't know how to act as an adult brother. Even without all the secrets he kept.
Ran cleared his throat, and possibly for the first time in his life made small talk. He leaned back on his hands in attempt to seem comfortable. "How was school?"
no subject
Date: 2007-06-13 03:12 am (UTC)Crap.
With a deep internal sigh (and a reminder that Hidaka Ken was many things, but a wuss was not among them) he poked his head around the doorframe with a friendly smile in place.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I'm picking up a couple pizzas. Any topping requests?"
no subject
Date: 2007-06-13 06:59 pm (UTC)He'd wanted to take Aya-chan out to dinner that night, just the two of them. In hopes that they would finally start to talk to one another again.
But Hidaka was offering food, and as much as he'd like to shake it Yohji's words stayed with him from that morning. He seemed fine to Ran, but Ran - Aya - of all people knew that sometimes the harshest damage was buried far within layers beneath the surface.
Or it could have just been a hard day, and Yohji blew things out of proportion.
He repressed a sigh. "Aya-chan?" He prompted.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-13 10:21 pm (UTC)"It's nice of you to offer, Ken-Kun. Mushrooms would be nice, if that's not a bother to the rest of you."
no subject
Date: 2007-06-14 06:48 pm (UTC)Checking for wallet and keys one more time, he grabbed his helmet and his gloves (no mistakes this time, small errand or not) and hopped on his bike.