Sunday 1.6: Escape

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran had grabbed his katana and stormed up to the exercise room, but the present moment found him hunched over his sword, staring at the hilt and the slim blade glinting beneath.

He should never have threatened Yohji with his sword, even if both men knew he wouldn't use it against him, at least not for that.

He could almost see the blood of the fallen streaming in the sunlight, a river that stretched down from the window and across the floor. Gathering on the blade and making it gleam orange with morning sun.

He had told himself that once his sister was awake, he would no longer be Weiss. He would no longer touch this weapon, or kill again.

But his sister need protection.

But it was more than that.

It was more than the money, too, however needed.

Perhaps it was a sense of obligation towards his team. Perhaps it was that he had transferred his need for a purpose to his team, now that Aya-chan was with them, now that he felt obsolete.

Perhaps somehow, Omi's idealism had spread to him, and he recognized the need for an absolute justice outside of the law.

Something was keeping him here.

He shook off his thoughts.

He was still throbbing with the irritation Yohji was so adept at provoking.

Ran straightened, and fell into a familiar pattern, careful footsteps and swinging blade courting one another in a graceful dance, two parts of one whole.

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[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

After about 40 minutes of lying comatose while depressing drinking songs turned his bad mood worse, Yohji was feeling entirely too sorry for himself to stay in his room. His masochistic streak found him standing outside Ran's door. Bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea.

He didn't feel like fighting anymore. If he tried to talk to Ran right now, there was absolutely no question that a fight would soon follow. But no one else was home. Keeping to himself hadn't helped. If he went out he'd certainly get wasted, which would probably lead to some sort of fight when he crawled home, simply postponing the inevitable. He felt stuck.

He slumped down with his back to the door, staring at the wall while he weighed the consequences of bothering his teammate.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Finally, body sweaty and mind thankfully clear, Ran descended to replace his sword on its stand and grab fresh clothes for a shower.

Only to find his irritation and source of countless headaches slumped against his door. All the good his workout did him was beaten into a bloody pulp by a single wave of annoyance.

"Is the smell from your room finally too strong for even you?" Ran snapped, stymied by having to either talk or step over Yohji's sprawled form.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran's harsh words did little more than draw out a bland stare. It was unusual for Ran to throw out the fighting words first, that was usually his job.

"No," he practically muttered, "the company sucked." This was probably the correct place where a normal person would have inserted an apology. Yohji was, unfortunately, too out of practice to quite get there.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran stared, at a loss. Uncomfortable, he remained stationary. Silence seeped between them.

Nothing had seemed unusual to him about this morning, though he had noticed Yohji had actually been trying to irritate him, whereas it was usually just a byproduct of his nature.

The man on the floor seemed unusually dejected. Aya - who he had been/still was/never was at all - might have left him where he was.

He didn't have a reason not to.

But Ran - a memory of a person still struggling to the surface within him - instead crossed his arms, and stayed where he was.

To him, that was a clear enough invitation for Yohji to speak.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran seemed to be expecting him to say something, which was unfortunate. Yohji was rather blank right now and was hoping to be talked to. An unrealistic expectation, he had to admit, considering the company.

He drummed his fingers on his knee.

"I'm an obnoxious asshole." It was a very clear statement, without expectation of reply. "You really should make good on your threat. I.... I honestly don't think I'd try to stop you."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

It took Ran a second to realize which threat he was referring to, and when he did he gave Yohji a withering look. "You're an idiot, Kudoh." He stated flatly.

...had Yohji just admitted he was obnoxious?

Ran gave him a speculative glance.

Finally, he gestured briefly to his sword. "I should not have threatened you with this." His form of apology.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Yohji didn't specify which of Ran's statements he was agreeing with.

He looked at the sword thoughtfully. "It wasn't uncalled for....you just called it wrong." Yohji broke contact with the sword and glanced at Ran. "I wasn't hitting on your sister. You should have saved the death threat for ruining breakfast."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

The reminder of breakfast and his sister made Ran tense his jaw again.

In a rare moment of thinking beyond his anger, however, he recalled that it was due to Yohji that his sister was not out by herself at this moment.

Instead of snapping, he said, "See that you don't." But he kept his tone of voice almost gentle.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"No worries," Yohji shrugged, "beyond the fact that it would lead to you kicking my ass," he ticked the reasons off on his fingers as he talked, "and the fact that although she may be chronologically 18, she didn't age while she was asleep, putting her at a technical 16--and therefore completely off my radar," he glanced up, anticipating Ran to not be finding his commentary especially reassuring, "the fact of the matter is I'm flat-out not interested in her."

He chewed on his lip as he thought about what he had just said. "But even if I were, I avoid getting involved in anything that obviously messy. Complicated isn't my style."

He really hoped Ran wasn't going to interpret that as an insult to Aya Chan. She was kind of a no-win topic of conversation when it came to Ran. He was way too protective.

"I'm, um...sorry about how I talk. It's habit. It really doesn't mean anything at all."

Yohji was getting fidgety now. This was way more talk than he was accustomed to engaging in with Ran--even though he was doing almost all of the talking. He wondered for how much longer they'd be facing off in the hallway....
...and if he was going to be back to keeping miserable company of himself when they weren't.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Yohji began rambling, and Ran found that he was amused despite himself. The man on the floor was obviously having some sort of inner breakdown, and if it was over the verbal sparring they'd had at breakfast it was almost laughably pitiful.

...and endearing, Ran was irritated to note.

"Yohji." He stated, trying to stop the flow of words. Finally, he sighed, then added, "Thank you. For sending Ken with her."

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji blinked and finally looked at Ran dead on. He'd picked up on that? And was thanking him? What?

This was probably an event worthy of being marked on Yohji's calendar. If Yohji had had a calendar, which he didn't. Calendars were for people with plans more interesting than "two for one night at Kuroyama's."

He realized that his mouth was slightly ajar. It would probably be a good idea to fix that.

"Um...you're welcome? I don't think Ken's going to thank me though."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

A barely detectable smile might have turned one corner of his mouth, but it would have taken something like a private detective to notice. Ran tilted his head towards his door. As far as he was concerned, things were smoothed over. "I'm taking a shower," he stated. As in, move, Kudoh.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran's entire demeanor had done a complete one eighty in just a few minutes. Yohji had never witnessed anything like it. No, that wasn't true. It was an event with precedence; Yohji had just never witnessed it occurring in proximity to anyone sans plaited black hair.

It made him feel weird in a way he couldn't quite pin down. Which was weird in itself, since hadn't Yohji just been bitching to himself an hour ago about how Ran was only nice to his sister?

There was probably something severely wrong with both of them.

Tension gone, Yohji concluded that the only thing left to do was try to act normal. And normal Yohji wouldn't pass up such a blatant opportunity to embarrass an associate.

"Is that an invitation?"

He cranked on his trade marked lecherous grin, and settled further down into his sprawl, clarifying that he had no intention whatsoever of moving out of Ran's way.

Really Ran just walked right into these things.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ran was talking. That was good, talking would break him from the cycle of negative thoughts he'd inadvertantly started.

"Maybe," Yohji gave a weak smile, "I can be surprisingly focused when I actually make the effort."

He wanted to say more. That was the perfect place to insert some sort of stupid joke, that would normalize his behavior. But words failed him.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

"Like when you're trying to be annoying," Ran muttered.

He relaxed a little into his chair. This wasn't so painful.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

"It doesn't take half the efort you'd expect," Yohji replied, feeling the knots in his stomach untighten. So long as he was conforming to an expected persona, he didn't have to think about the things that made being himself--his real self, whoever the fuck that was, Yohji wasn't even sure anymore--painful.

"I'll give it a try sometime, if you'll teach me."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

"Meditation?" Ran asked flatly, trying to suppress his incredulity.

For a brief moment, he envisioned Yohji at peace, with his eyes shut - before falling over sideways with a snore, sprawled like a cat. He had no doubt that it was what would happen.

He couldn't even picture Yohji holding his back in a proper posture for more than a minute.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji shrugged. "Maybe."

He fell silent for a moment, not sure whether to continue his attempts to banter, or if he should do the unprecidented and really say what was on his mind.

What the hell, this was a day of odd behavior.

"I need to do something," Yohji slouched further into the sofa, "the alcohol's not enough anymore."

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

His eyes snapped to Yohji's face. Of course, not looking at him.

That wasn't self-pity, at least not for show.

Ran wished he had something to draw from, but he'd never thought much of a future past the day Takatori died and his sister was awake. He had no resources to use, no comfort to give. Things were supposed to be different now. He was supposed to be different.

But he wasn't different enough, and he had no words of encouragement for Yohji. No false hope.

In many ways, they were too much alike.

After a moment, he said, "I will teach you to meditate, if you wish."

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji nodded. "I'd like that."

He didn't think meditation was the answer for him of course, he didn't think he had an answer.

There were distractions.

The only one that still worked for Yohji was people. He could function when someone else was there, even if that entailed complete and utter silence.

Knowing that Ran was willing to put up with such an obviously futile task, just for his sake, teathered Yohji back to the present.

He didn't know what else to say, so watched Ran in the silence.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

After a moment of Yohji staring at him, Ran shifted uncomfortably, then stood. He considered Yohji for a moment, then went to the open space in front of the couch and kneeled.

"Here," he said, and indicated the space in front of him.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Ah, of course Ran would want to get it over with. It was a bit much to expect him to want to have to spend multiple afternoons with Yohji.

He got down on the floor as par Ran's instruction.

"So I have to hold my fingers like this," Yohji formed circles with his thumb and pointer fingers, "and go ommmm, right?"

He hoped Ran could tell he was joking.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Ran leaned back, tense again. Was Yohji just going to mock him? Was that why he had suggested this?

"If you're not going to take this seriously, Kudoh..." He scowled, ready to get to his feet.

[skyrat13.livejournal.com]

Yohji sighed internally. Ran didn't seem to understand that the way he talked rarely reflected how he actually felt about things. The jokes were practically a default setting. Ready to pull from when Yohji felt uncomfortable, and not sure what to say.

"I'm serious."

He sat quietly and waited for Ran to continue.

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Surprised, Ran considered Yohji a moment, then settled back down. He examined Yohji, then nodded, satisfied.

There were, of course, much more complicated forms of meditation, but for Yohji's sake he chose the least complicated. He doubted the man would ever be meditating again, anyhow.

"Sit cross legged or on your knees," he started, finally. "Place your hands here," he rested his on his thighs. "Concentrate on your body to clear your mind."

He was about to start himself, then realized the playboy would probably need more guidance. "Focus on how each limb feels. Do not regulate your breath, but concentrate on how it feels breathing in, and out. Clear your mind."

He watched Yohji, curious if his teammate would actually try.