The Black Cross

[OOC: LOL with you. Good lord. haha!]

As the silence began to grow, Ken payed more and more attention to his mug. Taking slow and steady sips was almost meditative. He could count the seconds between each one, regulating a pattern of even gulps and-

"I hope he picks out something decent." And he ruined it by trying to engage in chit-chat. He tried playing it cool, he really had, but he could feel the cold burn of that disapproving glare from his teammates eyes.

Ran radiated tenseness, from the grim set of his jaw to the stiff positioning of his legs (though that could have been the injury). Ken put the mug down on the counter and shoved his hands in his pockets. Not a surrender, persay, but at the very least an amiable truce.

"Go ahead and say it," he heard himself offer. "Better to get things out now before he comes back."

~Well aren't *you* the brave one? He's not like you, dumbass. He can handle his darkness without exploding. Wouldn't be surprised if he laid you flat.~

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Ran felt his eyebrows raise. Ken almost looked like he was expecting Ran to throw a punch.

He wondered what Ken expected him to say. He knew he'd been staring at Ken blankly for a few moments, so it wasn't as if the other's expectations were unfounded.

...Functioning socially. He reminded himself. He was part of this group, part of this team, and it was by his choice. You're still Aya's brother. You owe it to her to try, you owe it to them all to try. The threads wove around his other thoughts, trying to pull together an excuse, a sentence, to meet Ken's expectations of conversation. Everything he came up with was too confrontational to say for the moment.

He said he'd almost destroyed his friendship with Omi.

He said he would go to therapy. Ken, you had better hide that from Kritiker, or be sure to at least fake improvement...

You actually sounded like you were concerned about pushing me too far, when it came to mentioning my...whatever is happening with Yohji. I never thought you would care. I thought you would use it to...

I don't hate you.

No...you never heard that conversation.

Was any of it his business? Yes. No. Nothing any of them did was any of their business, was it? But he cared, he did care. It was why he was part of this team, why he remained part of it. His mouth couldn't form any words suitable to answer Ken's question without another lengthy pause.

"Yohji...cares." He said instead, and in his head, it followed a logical progression of thought in his own mind. Yohji had always cared, always known he cared. Ran had only recently noticed. His first impression, so long ago, was that Yohji cared about nothing - not himself, not any of them, only those he'd left in his past. He'd had fake smiles and fake words for all of them when Ran had first joined, or so he'd thought. But he had never been very good at reading people, past what they presented.

Ran doubted Ken would believe him if he admitted he himself was concerned, and he definitely did not want to admit to eavesdropping. Reassuring the other assassin that one of them at least did, though, might help him stay grounded. He did not feel like having a repeat of their earlier argument.

He had meant more than that though, Ran realized. Was he looking for confirmation from Ken that Yohji wasn't just playing him, going for a challenge?

...possibly. There was no way in hell he was about to directly ask.

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Ken's expression morphed from neutral to puzzled. That wasn't exactly what he was expecting to hear.

"Of course he does. He cares too much for his own good, frankly." Ken took a hand out of his pocket to rake it through his hair.

"That's why he does most of what he does," Ken continued, letting the words run without filter. "He cares about us, about what people think about him, about the past. He's wrapped on all of it."

He let his expression soften a little, shaping his thoughts into sentences. "I yelled at him about that the other night. He cares the most about what you think, and he kills himself trying to get you to throw him a crumb of attention."

~Was that a hint of bitterness I heard in there, Hidaka?~

Ken promptly shut his mouth, cutting off even the apology on the tip of his tongue. It was probably his imagination adding things that weren't really there. And even if that was true, it might have slipped by unnoticed. The hand slipped back into his pocket.

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Ran turned the words over in his head. Insight on Yohji. He needed it, and was glad Ken was offering his take on the other man without him having to ask.

So it seemed Ken accepted that as obvious. Was Ran the only one who'd thought...

He raised a single eyebrow at Ken, as he threw an echo of what he'd said before back at Ran.

It was bullshit. The way he dressed, the way he flirted, the way he threw his "over 18 only" mantra about like he needed to convince himself...

Ran found he was grinding his teeth. He made himself stop. "That's ridiculous." It was true, Yohji had tried hard this week to get his attention. But...

...there was just no way he'd always been serious.

He felt the glare on his face, he attempted to soften it, reminding himself that even Yohji had been treading carefully in the conversation he'd heard between them.

...But why should Ken care enough to yell at Yohji about...

Maybe it would help. Ran was alarmed to realize the thought didn't bring relief, but rather fear.

Yes. It was fear. At what? No, don't examine it.

"You yelled at him?" Ran repeated. He wasn't sure how, but Ken had thrown him easily onto unsteady ground.

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"Er, it was more like an intense discussion about...things." Ken's courage began to falter as he realized that he was about to talk himself into a corner.

~Shit. Better watch your step, Hidaka~

Ken drained his cup before continuing. "I was just telling him that he should stop dancing around and be honest. With you. He didn't think he had a snowballs chance in hell, but we had to hope. Had to. And now," he made a small toast with his empty cup. "You've got a good thing."

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Ran's eyebrows decided to climb back toward the middle of his forehead. Yohji had discussed this with...

"You both discussed..." He couldn't even form the complete sentence. "You talked about...what 'things'?" His tone was dropping with each word.

The prey was skittish though; Ran kept both voice and expression from turning too dangerous, before he had all the information he could.

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The urge to find a mean of escape was strong, but Ken refused to back down. He could tell he'd dug himself into a small hole, but he would get out of it if it killed him.

"Private things. Like why he couldn't face up to the idea that telling you what he felt was the right thing to do. He was so sure that you'd reject him outright, that you'd..."

He swallowed, trying to ignore the small bead of sweat trailing down the side of his neck.

"He didn't want to get hurt. No one does. And it's worse when you think you'll destroy the little camaraderie you have because you want more." His fist started to clench in his pocket; raw, bare-bone emotion colored his words.

"It's horrible, thinking that someone you care about couldn't possibly want you that way. It eats at you from the inside out."

Ken looked Ran dead in the eyes, laying it out with brutal honesty. "So you smile and pretend everything's normal and you're ok with being friends, because you don't think you deserve better than that. Because it's easier than getting shut out altogether. I knew what that was like, and we talked about it. He was a hell of a lot braver than me when all was said and done. Yeah. He cares."

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Ran raked his eyes over Ken's features, searching for any hint of a lie. He had almost been expecting a confession of a conspiracy. What Ken said wiped all accusation from his mind, however.

Is this better? He certainly didn't want to be a conquest, a bet or a joke. But this meant Yohji was truly serious.

He couldn't have felt comfortable doing what he had with the other man if he hadn't on some level already known that. Nevertheless...nevertheless, he did not find it as easy as Yohji apparently did to act on his feelings.

Even that sounded ridiculous to him. Even now, hearing Ken explain the situation to him like it was a given. Yes. Yohji cared, but to feel more than that toward Ran himself, to search for something so pure in their lives, as if they were normal...

"It doesn't seem to matter to Yohji if you reject him," Ran stated flatly. A hint of humor managed to sneak into his dour tone, though it was doubtful Ken would hear it. The comment was made almost to himself, however, and he frowned at Ken. It didn't escape him that they'd left the path of Yohji's emotions and were treading water in Ken's psyche.

It almost sounded like he was talking about Yohji, that he was feeling that way toward the man. But wasn't that unlikely, given that they had discussed Yohji's established interest in Ran? So that left...

Omi. Something had happened with Omi. Pieces were matching up but not cut in a way that they fit.

"In a team such as Weiss," Ran said, but the lecture died on his lips.

He was determined not to let this destroy Weiss. Protecting his sister came first, Weiss came first. He had to trust that the others viewed anything they did in the same light.

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Schuldig pulled up in front of the Koneko. It was the logical choice for looking for Kudou. However, a quick mental scan of the people inside proved that once again, logical is not always correct.

But he hated to waste an opportunity to harass Weiss.

With a smirk, he lowered his shades and stepped out of the car.

The bell above the door jingled as he entered the flower shop, idly browsing the various plants and bouquets displayed within.

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Ran turned, eyebrows raised. The shop was supposedly locked up, what customer would -

It took him a long moment to assess what image his mind was sending him.

Red hair, annoying smirk, awful clothes that Yohji probably thought were great.

Schuldig.

Again.

In the shop.

Of course.

Of course, this week hadn't been hell enough.

...and he was browsing the flower selection? Ran carefully thought of how much each flower Schuldig touched cost, and where it had come from, rather than anything to do with Yohji or Aya-chan, though of course, his mind had first strayed to relief that they weren't present.

He shot a look back at Ken, radiating anger. Schuldig had shot him. He'd kidnapped Yohji. And Ran didn't have his katana anywhere near him. Not that he was stupid enough to think he would be able to hold his own with an injured leg, but if he had his katana, he might have been stupid enough to try anyway.

"Why the hell are you here?" Ran's words were clipped.

His eyes automatically scanned the shop for possible weapons, even as the words left his mouth.

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"This is a flower shop, yes?" Schuldig asked, his fingers lingering on the delicate petals of a cattleya. "Did it occur to you that maybe I'm here to purchase some flowers?" He cocked his head slightly, a smirk playing on his lips.

Ran was rattled. He could feel the rage boiling under the prices of the flowers.

"Are they really that expensive? Oh, and how is the leg? I hope you know it was nothing personal. I just couldn't have you following after me." He grinned, plucking the petal from the flower.

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The symbolism of the flower Schuldig was fingering didn't escape Ran's notice, and he wasn't about to consider it a coincidence with the man's ability to sift through their thoughts.Yohji's favorite flower.

It didn't matter. Schuldig was doing it purposefully, and it was only a plant.

"We're closed," Ran snapped. He almost thought of where Yohji had gone, why they were closed.

Following after me. Following after him and Yohji. Ran's mind kept trying to rehash the entire event. Yohji missing. Yohji returned. Giving in.

He deflected before thinking anything clearly by quoting in his mind a price twice the going rate for the flower Schuldig had broken.

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"Such customer service. I thought you Japanese people were all about honoring the customer." He shrugged, pulling out enough bills to cover the purposely overpriced flower, tossing them down onto the counter.

"But fine. I'll leave. I have bigger fish to fry, anyway." He smirked, turning to head back out the door.

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Ran raised his eyebrows. He stared at the money, then checked back in with Ken with his eyes.

The hell had just happened.

He sensed it was a trap, or at least, it had to be. The baiting. Purposefully not antagonizing them. It sent off all sorts of alarms.

But..."bigger fish to fry"...

It might have nothing to do with them.

But why else would he have come here, if he had better things to do?

Ran's mouth moved almost of it's own accord. "Why did you come here?"

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"I told you. Looking for something special." Schuldig smirked, "But it apparent that you don't have it here."

He shrugged and rolled his shoulders, then picked up his damaged flower. After all, he'd paid for it.

"I've always been curious... why florists?" He suddenly asked. "Why a cover at all?"

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"Normalcy." Ran said immediately, without thinking. It was always a mistake around Schuldig, he knew that, but the word came out anyway.

And so did the slight sneer.

He had always thought it was a joke. They were assassins. Perhaps the others could pretend to be normal, but Ran had chosen this life knowing what he was getting into.

He had just been surprised to have survived it.

He had of course been surprised to find the flowershop was relaxing. That he liked being a florist, or at least working with the plants. Tending to life, instead of continuously cutting it down. But that didn't absolve the cover of its needlessness.

Although, now that he had his sister back, he realized suddenly - it had made it easier for them all to have a real occupation as well. So perhaps Kritiker had more forethought than he gave them credit for.

And it was good for Omi too, perhaps, being so young, to have something more mundane in his life.

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During the whole exchange, what bothered Ken the most wasn't that the redhead waltzed in so boldly, or that Ran was keeping a mostly cool head despite the fact that Schuldig was pointedly baiting him. They had no effective weapons nearby, and with two teammates gone and Ran injured, taking the mentalist on would be monumentally stupid.

What bothered Ken was that he didn't really care much. Where a bank of rage usually welled up, there was a cool sense of detatched calm, like he was watching the entire scene through a sniper scope somewhere far away.

"I'll bet you were the kind of kid," Ken said to Schuldig, his words laced with a thin sheet of ice, "who used to pull the wings off of butterflies."

*What are you doing?! Shut up! Are you trying to get us killed?!*
~Let me handle this, Hidaka.~

"Are you that bored? Hmm? What happened, broke all your other toys?" Ken leaned back against the counter, shoving his hands in his pockets (they were still starting to clench, despite his efforts).

"I guess it's no fun being a godling without an audience."

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Schuldig only faltered for a split second at the mention of his childhood. After all, Ken didn't know anything about him, and what he went through. None of them did, well, Yohji did to a point. But none of them cared enough to hear about it. And Schuldig didn't care enough to inform them.

"It's possible." He stated with a shrugged. "I've never liked butterflies much."

He laughed a bit as Ken mentally scolded himself. It seemed the man had a bit of a personality disorder. That would explain a lot, actually.

"Nein. I don't break my toys like you, Hidaka." He cocked his head, pulling the image of Yohji, wounded and bleeding, to the front of Ken's mind.

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That image caused Ken to flinch visibly before he fought to keep the frosty walls intact. He should've seen that coming from a mile away, but it blindsided him all the same.

He glared at Shuldig and shoved his hands further in his pocket. "He's not a toy, dammit, not to us. Your team might be different, but *we* actually give a shit about each other."

*What's the point? You can't win. Not against him.*

~I'm not rolling over for this bastard. I won't. I can't. Don't you get tired of being a doormat?~

*Fuck you. That's not who I am.*

~Aren't you?~

Ken wished desperatly that he had his weapons. He wasn't meant for games of mental chess, he was made for action. This backtalk was just defiance, pure and simple, but it made him feel good, like he was keeping his promises and working towards something.

He lifted his chin and managed to make eye contact with Ran, a tiny smile of pride slipping through the neutral expression. *All for one, right? We'll be fine...*

At least he hoped so.

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"Is Ran really the one you think will back you up?" Schuldig grinned, moving to examine another arrangement. It looked like he might play for a while, and dismissing his enemies so easily would let them know just how little of a threat they were.

"All for one. Right. I bet that was what went through Yohji's mind when you turned him into a scratching post." He said, plucking a rose from the arrangement looking at it. "Did you even try to help afterward? Or just leave him to bandage himself? Because either way, the dressing was atrocious."

He waved his hand dismissively. "I supposed it doesn't matter. In the end, you're all just puppets. Maybe that's why you're so much fun to play with. You play dress up during the day and frolic in the flowers with your adoring fans... what would those fans think if they knew you were murderers?"

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Ran narrowed his eyes. "We got through that. I don't know how you operate within yourselves, but we take care of our own here."

He tried to give Ken a reassuring look with a brief glance over his shoulder. He didn't trust him to not rise to Schuldig's bait, not after what he'd heard Ken say about Ran himself.

The idea of Schuldig having his hands anywhere near Yohji was incensive, but suppressed it as best he could. That was the whole point of the other redhead being there, and it irritated Ran almost as much to realize that they were entertaining him despite themselves.

(deleted comment)

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bloodyfarfie.livejournal.com

The whole while Schuldig was baiting and teasing the kittens, Farfarello was waiting around outside, figuring the kittens would probably feel they could handle Schu on their own a little better. He just let them let their guard down for now.

After a while of Schuldig remaining inside without even letting Farfarello know what was going on, the Irishman walked to the front door and walked inside, face entirely blank; it was either that, or he'd start cackling and laughing - especially at their expressions. Obviously, the baiting was going rather well.. He glanced at Schu, the slightest hint of an amused smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

/Well? Having fun?/

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[Crap! Sorry, Aki, I deleted your comment by accident when I went to use your head's up on Schu's black eye.

...Poor Schu, even his writer is helping Weiss be observant XD]

Ran narrowed his eyes. "We got through that. We take care of our own here." He pointedly raised an eyebrow at the ugly mark on Schuldig's usually pristine face. "You might operate differently within yourselves."

He tried to give Ken a reassuring look with a brief glance over his shoulder. He didn't trust him to not rise to Schuldig's bait, not after what he'd heard Ken say about Ran himself.

The idea of Schuldig having his hands anywhere near Yohji was incensive, but suppressed it as best he could. That was the whole point of the other redhead being there, and it irritated Ran almost as much to realize that they were entertaining him despite themselves.

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Everything was going well enough.

And then he had to show up.

Ken saw the faint edge of red framing his vision when Schuldig made the jab about revealing their night jobs to the world.

*-the kids, and their parents, they would think I was a monster and they'd be right-*

But when Farfarello walked in the door, the rage flared to life, straining to get off the leash. Ken reached for the nearest object-

~A vase, Hidaka? What the hell is that supposed to do?~

-and held it out before him as an impromptu weapon.

But the only thing he could get out between his clenched teeth was "You..."

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Schuldig just shrugged. "A black eye isn't going to kill me. No matter how hard you wish for it." He chuckled, looking back at Farfarello with a grin.

//Oh yes. You know I always have fun with them. We should get going soon though, since Kudou isn't actually here. Seems he took off a bit ago.//

"A vase, Hidaka? Really?" He tilted his head to one side. "How have you boys survived this long?"

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Ran found he couldn't quite argue with Schuldig's logic on that one. He gave Ken no more than a sideways glance to make sure he was holding it together.

He was not happy about the appearance of Farfarello. It completely unbalanced the meeting in Schwarz' favor, and left Ran looking for a deeper motive than just boredom for the visit.

"Why are you really here?" Ran rephrased his earlier question finally. At the very least, it would take the attention off of Ken.

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bloodyfarfie.livejournal.com

Farfarello smirked just faintly at Ken's reaction to his entrance, but decided not to say anything to further anger the kitten - they were actually on an assignment, after all.

/Let's go then, before someone gets carried away again. I do like to try to not piss Crawford off twice in as many days./

He turned slightly, more towards the door, and looked at Schuldig with a raised eyebrow, waiting patiently, essentially giving Schuldig the chance to let out a parting shot at the two kittens. After all, he couldn't spoil all of Schu's fun... Especially since he rather enjoyed it as well.

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Schuldig gave a slight nod, watched Farfarello turn toward the door. /I'm not kidnapping anyone today. Too much effort, anyway./

"I've told you why I'm here." He picked up the bouquet that he'd been examining, tossing down a few more bills to cover the price, the actual price that he'd pulled from Ran's head. "You don't even need to write a card. I'm in a bit of a hurry." He flashed an eerily charming smile at Ran and Ken, then turned on his heel to follow after Farfarello.

Before he left, though, he did implant a light suggestion into Ran's mind that there must be some connection between Sato's sudden appearance and Schwarz's sudden interest in them. Maybe Omi should take a deeper look into the man's interests. Ran could easily ignore it if he chose, but he knew the other redhead was already wondering. It wasn't much of a stretch.

[Exit to Thursday 1.18]

Edited Date: 2009-04-18 02:39 am (UTC)

From:

bloodyfarfie.livejournal.com

Farfarello grinned and glanced at the kittens, saluting them briefly before walking out after Schuldig.

[Exit to Thursday 1.18]

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