The Black Cross

Ran trailed his sister inside then paused just inside the door as she made her way upstairs without looking back. The looming questions he sensed welling up in her in the car placed an almost tangible pressure between them, pushing on boundaries Ran had almost forgotten were there. It was easy to ignore the past when it was ony he that was aware of it. When everything that had happened between when her awareness ceased and began again seemed to be only in his head. Only a nightmare. But it was his folly - he had let himself slip and given himself a repast, a forgivence, he knew he didn't deserve.

A loud thump from upstairs signalled Aya-chan's door slamming shut, scattering his thoughts.

He couldn't go after her, she would only want answers.

He should have sent her away from this like he had planned. She should be in boarding school or a Kritiker safehouse. He was placing her in danger for being so selfish.

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The slamming of doors alerted Yohji that his window of opportunity to quietly vanish into his room had closed. Now he would have to come into some sort of contact with Ran, even if it only meant brushing past him on his way to the stairs.

What had posessed him to stick around, anyway?

Yohji sighed and reached for a second mug. He absent-mindedly filled it with coffee and stepped out into the hall. Ran was there, as he had expected.

Yohji held out the mug in a wordless offering.

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Something pink entered Ran's line of sight, causing him to focus on his teammate in front of him.

He was holding out...a mug?

Ran raised his eyes to Yohji's face, away from the garish article of clothing. Instead of taking the coffee, he rasped, "Why didn't you stay on the phone?"

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Yohji's eyes narrowed. It was becoming very clear that he had made the wrong decision in remaining accessible. Not only was it a bad idea to stay in the kitchen, it had been a bad idea to come back at all. He should have probably gone to a bar. Or anywhere.

"You're asking the wrong person that question." Yohji thrust the unrecieved mug into Ran's hand and turned back to grab his own, "I got hung up on."

He wanted to follow with "why didn't you want my real help?" but managed to bury the question in a swig of coffee. He no longer had it in him for another fight.

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Ran narrowed his eyes, first at the mug he had no choice but to grab lest it fall on the floor, and second at Yohji. He considered dumping the hot coffee all over the playboy's garish shirt.

Grip viselike on the pottery, he stared for a long moment at Yohji, then decided he was telling the truth.

He looked down at the coffee.

The situation had been completely out of their control. Ken and Omi were powerless against the two Schwartz, had they truly wanted to do Aya-chan harm. He could not get there in time. And Aya had hung up on Yohji. What if she had been kidnapped in that moment? Or worse?

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Yohji bit his lip in frustration. It was taking an enormous amount of effort to keep his annoyed thoughts to himself. If he didn't find something else to say pretty soon he was going to make a tactless slip.

"Maybe you should talk to Omi about tracking devices."

Okay, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

But he could have done worse.

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Ran jerked his head up, out of the mug and out of his thoughts, and opened his mouth to snap back. Then shut it again.

Tracking devices.

Schwartz would certainly be able to detect them, and destroy them.

But maybe not in time.

"Hn," he finally vocalized.

Ran tilted his head slightly to the side with his thoughts, then decided the coffee in his hands actually didn't smell half bad. Purposefully, he strode to the table and sat, hunched slightly. He took a sip from his mug.

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The 'Hn' caused Yohji to raise an eyebrow in surprise. He had been expecting to have his comment shot down, possibly followed by Ran leaving in his offense. But 'hn' was about as agreeable a piece of feedback as Yohji might hope for.

Yohji liberally interpretted that as an invitation to join Ran at the table, to which he brought the half-full coffee pot with him.

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Ran sipped at the coffee and stared at the floor of the Koneko. Whose turn had it been to wash the floor? It was scattered with crumbs. He was sure it was Ken or the other person who seemed to weasel his way out of daily chores with the finesse of a greased ferret.

Anything, of course, to keep from thinking about the conversation that had almost happened in the car.

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Yohji tapped the side of his mug impatiently.

Ran was staring at the floor. This was ridicoulous. Ran was, essentially, Weiss' Field leader. He was decisive and fearless. This person sitting next to Yohji--awkwardly regarding some imaginary transgression on the floor--barely ressembled Yohji's mental inventory of the man he used to call 'Aya.'

"I thought we were a team," Yohji mumbled halfway into his cup, "but so far the only person who's made any attempt whatsoever to fill me in on what's been going on is your sister. And she's not supposed to even know anything."

He tried to catch Ran's reaction out of the corner of his eye. Yohji didn't expect it to be a good one.

"I can't help if I'm kept out of the loop like that."

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"I did not have time to...chat." Ran snarled, surprised. His head snapped up. Yohji had known more about the situation than Ran. What did Yohji expect? His sister was in contact with Schwartz. It hadn't concerned him.

Ran had asked for his help. He had only needed to stay on the phone. Ran barely suppressed his anger at Yohji's implication that he was bored and had seen this as a group outing, his reaction to limited information like a sulking teenager's.

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"No I mean, after," Yohji could barely restrain himself from rolling his eyes, "You're back. I assume everything is okay, but for all I know Omi and Ken could be captured. They could be dead. Schwartz could be about to knock on our door and I'd have no idea."

Yohji turned so that he was making real eye contact with Ran. "I don't know if whatever happened today was an isolated incident or if I need to be concerned that we have a real situation unfolding. I get that you were in a hurry to get to Aya Chan, but I do expect to at least get a briefing after the fact."

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Yohji cornered his eyes. He was uncomfortable by Yohji's voicing of his own thoughts.

Nevertheless, his rage was diffused by his teammate's calm response and Ran finally let out a soft sigh. "I don't know," he said after a moment. "Nothing with them is an isolated incident." All he knew was that he would kill them the next time he saw them.

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"You know what I meant. Was the encounter an accident, or were they looking for us? I want to know how on edge I should be."

Yohji picked up the pot and poured a little more into Ran's glass.

"I felt completely useless today. I just want to be more prepared next time. If there ever comes a day where someone doesn't make it home from the store, I don't want it to be because I didn't do enough."

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Ran was silent for a moment, then looked away. "I don't know. Aya didn't say much. Ken and Omi will know more."

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"You didn't talk to them?" Yohji was genuinely surprised. He couldn't imagine Ran having rescued his sister from percieved danger and not giving her the twice over.

It then occured to Yohji that his question invited Ran to get irritated and stop talking to him.

"I mean, I'm sure you had good reason not to, I was just surprised."

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"I needed to get her out of there!" Ran exclaimed, head shooting up. He stood. This line of questioning was pointless. He knew no more or less than Yohji, and he'd done what he had to. They'd find out from the others what their purpose was when they returned. "Find me when the others are back," he said. He took the mug with him.

By the doorway he paused, tilting his head, violet eyes shadowed above his shoulder by the fall of red bangs. "If Aya...asks...you anything..." he trailed off, unwilling to let Yohji know too much. "Just tell her to stay away from Schwartz."

He left the room and started upstairs to his bedroom. He needed to process what had happened, in silence.

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"There you go, leaving again," Yohji gripped. He wasn't sure if he'd said it loud enough for the retreating man to hear.

Ran served as a reminder as to why Yohji spent so much time 'going out.' There was really not point whatsoever in sticking around this place. Not unless you liked the brand of absolute solitude that Ran seemed to so deeply value.

"When the others come back I won't have to find you because there will be somebody else to talk to," he muttered.

"I already told her to stay away from them," he added, intentionally louder so Ran would catch it, "that's about the point where she hung up on me."

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Ran paused halfway up the stairs, one hand propped on the railing.

Just what had happened?

Something Aya did not want to tell him about.

Just what had those monsters told her?

Had she believed them?

He would kill them.

Maybe that was his path. Only a harbringer of death and justice. So long as he had her to protect, and there were enemies alive.

Or maybe it was simply that he could not keep her safe.

He knew that against this enemy, they could not win.

He ignored Yohji and resumed climbing.

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She was sure the noises she'd heard earlier were from Yohji; then again, it'd been a while ago and Yohji didn't seem like the type of person who'd stay in the same spot for too long. Still, Aya-Chan hoped she'd find him downstairs, simply because she'd never gone anywhere near the other's room before and felt awkward doing so. Out of all four of them, Yohji was the one she knew least about.

"Yohji-Kun?" She called softly as she reached the bottom of the stairs. It was never too late to appologize, but... it was still embarassing to have taken this long.

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Yohji looked up hopefully at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Was Ran coming back? Why did he even care if Ran come back, anyway? The anxious feeling that had settled in him was foreign and not at all welcome.

Yohji-Kun.

No, not Ran. The day he heard Ran address any of them with "Kun" Yohji would probably have a heart attack.

It didn't sound like Omi either, that left Aya Chan.

Damn, he was way too wound up in weird feelings of annoyance and anxiousness regarding her brother to be able to even look at Aya Chan with a straight face. Why wasn't she with her brother anyway? Ran obviously would have wanted her to be....

This is not Aya Chan's fault, Yohji reminded himself for the hundredth time that day, do not take out your issues on the only innocent one here.

Yohji did the only thing he knew how in a situation like this and plastered a trade-marked smile in place.

"Hello Aya Chan!"

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"I wanted to apologize," it came out slightly mumbled and a bit faster than Aya-Chan had wanted, but it was a good starting point. She shot Yohji a tentative smile. "For hanging up on you earlier today. I... didn't mean to." It was hard to explain what exactly had gone through her mind at the time, and she felt uncomfortable doing so to an older man that she had little knowledge of, so Aya-Chan decided to leave it and that and hope Yohji understood. "And I wanted to thank you for staying on the phone with me."

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"Ah," Yohji wasn't sure how to respond to that, "it was no problem for me, Aya Chan, if you are looking to apologize to someone you might want to start with your brother...."

Yohji got up and got another mug and offered it to Aya Chan.

"I think it's a safe bet to say he is the one who was most upset by today's...event."

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Aya-Chan took the mug from Yohji, staring wide-eyed at him. She hadn't put much thought on how upset Ran had been, having been too occupied wanting more answers. She took a few slow sips of the coffee, replaying the day's events in her head.

Finally, she looked back up at Yohji, smiling brightly. "I think I will. Thank you, Yohji-Kun."

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"It wouldn't hurt," Yohji nodded.

He settled back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee.

"I hope your weekend hasn't been too badly marred by your shopping trip. You should have Ken or Omi take you out to the movies or something."

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"Perhaps we could all go to the movies?" Aya-Chan suggested, peering over her cup at Yohji. "When was the last time you four went out together?"

Or even remotely had fun together..., she thought to herself, reflecting back on the day's tensions. Or... had fun at all. She smiled hopefully at Yohji; it could potentially turn out like breakfast that morning, but Aya-Chan didn't want to dwell on that thought too much.

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Yohji blanched at the suggestion. All four of them taking Ran's little sister to the movies? How heart warming. Was Aya Chan alseep this morning, or what?

"I, um, don't think that's such a great idea, Aya Chan," he tapped his finger against the side of his mug nervously, "if you haven't noticed, Ran doesn't really consider doing anything with me fun. I think you would have a nicer time if I wasn't included."

He regarded her tenatively, as she made Yohji a little nervous. It wasn't her of course that actually made him nervous, it was the fact that Ran's overprotectiveness turned almost any issue involving her into a potential land mine. Yohji had stepped on enough of them already.

"I mean, I'd really like to go out with all of you," he hastily added, worried that he might have hurt her feelings somehow, "but you saw what happened at breakfast, right?"

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They couldn't possibly fight like that every time they were together... How on earth - though why on earth seemed to be the better question - had they been able to live with each other all this time?

"It can't always be like that?" she smiled at him as she walked towards the nearby sink to wash out the empty mug in her hands. She wasn't about to force an outing; for one thing, Aya-Chan had hoped breakfast would never have to repeat itself again, and for another, she didn't really know the conditions well enough to try and force anything. Though, it did seem incredibly strange that four people who lived in such a close vicinity of each other could end up in such heated - and rather petty - arguments.

"I'm sure it's just due to stress," she said finally, trying her best to pick her words carefully. "All four of you just seem eternally stressed, for some reason. I'm sure Ran-niisan doesn't really think of you as not fun to be around."

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"Um...yeah. It actually is always like that." Yohji refilled his mug to ensure that Aya Chan wouldn't try to wash it, "sometimes it's worse."

All four of you just seem eternally stressed, for some reason.

Well, no kidding. If that weren't the understatement of the year.

"I'm afraid that your brother would probably rather spend an afternoon driving nails into his foot than to hold a conversation with me. 'Not fun' doesn't cover the half of it."

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Aya-Chan's jaw almost dropped. It was hard to envision Ran wanting to drive nails into his foot; but then again, Ran had changed, and Aya-Chan wasn't sure anymore what to think.

"But then..." she was at a loss for words as she set her mug down on the counter. "Why would you stay together like this? I would imagine you don't actually enjoy knowing that someone would rather 'drive nails into his foot' than speak with you."

And what did they do all day...?

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"Can't you tell? We're all madly in love with each other."

Yohji kept his face deadpan. For all of about 30 seconds. Then he had to take a really big gulp of coffee to keep himself from outright cracking up.

"We don't make enough money at the flower shop to move out independently," he improvised, "rent is really cheap when you live where you work."

He hoped she bought that, because it was all the explaination she was going to get out of him.

"And Ran will be the first person to tell you that I'm a little perverse. Living with someone who essentially hates my guts doesn't bother me quite as much as you'd expect it to."

Yohji tried to make his smile assuring.

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Aya-Chan had to smile at Yohji's first crack.

"If you say so, Yohji-Kun." Either he wasn't telling the whole truth or they all just had some freakish fetish with flowers... and neither was a very nice scenario to dwell on. She'd learned a lot more about these four people in just one day that she really cared to know.

She paused, absently wiping her hands against her skirt; there was homework to be done, not to mention that apology to Ran that Yohji had suggested. "Well, I should go back to work now, and perhaps have that small talk with Ran-niisan."

She paused at the door, turning back for a moment. "And, if it matters at all, I don't think you're as bad as you've described yourself to be." She shrugged, "perhaps driving nails into his feet is just Ran-niisan's way of telling you that he cares."

[Aya-Chan exits]

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"perhaps driving nails into his feet is just Ran-niisan's way of telling you that he cares."

At this Yohji very nearly did crack up.

"Ah, if only," Yohji found himself muttering.

Now just where the hell did that sentiment come from?!

Though before he could worry too much about it, Aya Chan's other words sank in.

"And, if it matters at all, I don't think you're as bad as you've described yourself to be."

"Not at all," Yohji thought grimly, "I'm much worse than you could possibly imagine, Aya Chan...."

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It had taken him at least twenty minutes to come inside the house. Most of that time had been taken up with squatting next to his bike, cleaning rag in hand, staring blankly at the mass of chrome and rubber before hurling the cloth to the floor in disgust. Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, he got to his feet and made his way towards the door. There was already a scathing self-lecture playing in his head, and he made no attempt to squelch it, no matter how much it made his insides curdle.

Today should not have happened. All you had to do was go to the goddamned store and not die. Very simple. What the fuck, Hidaka, is someone *always* going to have to pull your sorry ass out of the fire? You not only made an *ass* of yourself, but you became a liability. It would serve you right if Ran took your fucking head and mounted it on his wall for what you pulled. Then again, you never were all that stable, were you? This isn't the first time you've snapped and rushed into something monumentally stupid. And worst of all, you *never* learn, shit-for-brains...

Without realizing it, he found himself standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Yohji was there, and after a brief moment of strange indecision, Ken decided to speak. At least, his mouth opened. A weird noise came out that didn't resemble words at all. He shut his mouth, swallowed, ran his fingers through his hair, and tried again.

"...hey. If you go out, mind if I tag along?"

He blinked. That wasn't what he meant to say. He didn't really like clubs that much. But after a moment it seemed like a good idea. Loud music, darkness, turning off his brain for just a little while, getting out of the house, away from...stuff. It wouldn't be running away. Just a bit of "recreational mental realignment". Perfectly reasonable. If Yohji didn't chew him up and spit him out for what happened today. He could always hope.

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....out....?

Yohji blinked and turned around to find Ken standing in the doorway, looking noticably edgy.

It hadn't even occured to Yohji to go out. Not with how anxious everyone was acting over Schwartz.... It genuinely surprised him sometimes, how the others simply expected certain patterns of behavior from him , regardless of the circumstances.

...although going out is exactly what he'd told Aya Chan to do, the one person whom it was most important to keep a low profile, considering the circumstnaces. That was smart of him.

He began to say 'wouldn't you rather go out with Omi and Aya Chan' but then stopped himself. The truth was, Yohji really didn't want to be left alone anymore today, and the chances of Ran being social twice in one day seemed slim to none. Ken's appearance actually brought Yohji an unexpected sense of relief.

At least one person is acknowledging my existance around here.

Not that he would admit that to Ken.

Yohji sauntered over to the doorway and causually wrapped an arm around Ken's shoulder.

"If you're looking for a date, Kenken, you really need to work on your pickup lines."

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He would never, ever say this out loud, but thank the gods for Yohji. Ever dependable in his own way, Yohji was going to save him from himself. Ken gave himself a mental shake. No. He was going to take care of himself. But at least he'd have a friend there with him.

Ken was, at heart, a creature of the pack. Having the solidarity of a group or at least a partner was comforting, even if it was just to go socialize.

Ken faked a scowl and gently elbowed Yohji in the ribs. "If I was looking for a date, I'd set my sights a bit higher than you, old man." He joked. "I just need to, y'know...get out for a while."

He paused and turned his gaze towards Yohji's feet. "I don't feel like being me right now. So I thought, if you didn't mind..." He stopped and doinked himself in the forehead.

"Argh. Didn't mean to sound so whiny. First round'll be on me, whaddya say?"

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Yohji flinched with practiced exageration. "Ouch Ken, that hurts, ya know? My self-esteem is pretty fragile!" He had to bite down on his lip to keep from smiling.

"I hadn't been planning on going anywhere, but I never turn down a free drink. I don't care where."

He looked up and caught Ken avoiding his eyes, which only fueled his tendency to fidget at Ken's honesty. Even after all this time it surprised him when the others opened up to him. Despite the fact that Ken had the inexplicable ability to open up to almost anybody.

"And that wasn't Whiny Ken," Yohji mumbled, "I haven't felt like being myself in almost three fucking years."

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Ken wasn't able to keep the surprise from registering on his face. That was one of the last things he ever expected to hear coming from Yohji.

"What?! But you're...you're Yohji," he blurted before his brain could apply a sensitivity filter to his mouth. By the time it did, a couple things had occured to him.

Wasn't it sort of like J-Leagues, when all sorts of people told him how envious they were of his talent?

What I wouldn't give to trade places with you, Hidaka-san
Do you know how fortunate you are? You've been blessed, and don't you forget it
Ken-kun is so *lucky*, it's just not fair

"I mean, I don't get it. Why would you...you always seem so..." He flailed a bit, trying to find the words to help extract his foot from his mouth. It didn't seem to be working well.

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Ken's reaction illicited a raised eyebrow. "So....what?" He leaned back a little against the doorframe. "You just said you wanted to go out to get away from yourself for a while. Why do you think I go out so often, eh?"

He was mildly amused at the flustered way Ken used his name as if it carried some hidden explaination within it. Did the other's really think he was happy? Yohji hadn't considered himself that good of an actor. True, he managed to go missing frequently, which spared him some of the pretense.

"You really thought...." he watched Ken in genuine interest, it seemed kind of surreal to be having a actual conversation with him after what felt like a lifetime of banter, "Kritiker doesn't 'recruit' happy people, you know."

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"No. They don't." Ken replied. "Still, no one is happy all the time. And you at least give the impression of...contentment."

That's how it seemed, anyway. From the amazing lengths he went to avoid getting up and going to work, to the smooth and easy way he managed to flirt and charm every skirt that flounced into the Koneko, right down to his method of killing (swift,silent, near-invisible) that closely resembled a spider; everything about Yohji screamed "this is a man who flows where he pleases, rest of the world be damned".

"I always admired that about you. You aren't like the rest of us. You're living, Weiss or no Weiss. You're alive." He shrugged and stuck his hand in the pocket of his jeans. "That's why I was so surprised."

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Yohji smiled sadly. "I was dead before you met me, Ken. And there's blood on my hands that's older than Weiss. You should save your admiration for someone more genuine."

Well.... This was awkward. It was, perhaps, the sort of conversation Yohji had hoped to eventually explore with Ran. But Ken? If Yohji had entertained a delusion that any of them were content, Ken would have been the one he pegged. When stuff bothered him, he dealt with it. To hear Ken announce that he admired him--He, Yohji, who specialized in being a bad role model--well, it was just weird.

He made a flippant gesture with his hand. "If we're going to start baring our souls like this, I think I'm going to need that drink first."

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"I hear you. Let me go change. Think about where you wanna go...you know those places better than I do." Ken happily latched onto Yohji's change of mood.

Before he made his way towards the stairs, he gave Yohji a solid, but gentle punch on the shoulder. It was sort of a manly way of saying...saying what? Thanks? I understand? Things are cool between us?

Even Ken wasn't really sure. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time, an appropriate end to one of the deeper conversations the two of them had in the years they'd known each other.

He followed it with a smile he actually meant and felt before half sprinting up the stairs. It'd been far too long since he'd gotten blizted. He'd deal with the hangover tomorrow.

[exit Ken, stage left]

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